Vaginal Plastic Surgery to Get the Perfect Vagina - or Not?
For women, but men can look, too ...
Not satisfied with your 'female flower'?
Considering vaginal plastic surgery to get 'the perfect vagina'?
Get some self improvement tips on 'designer vaginas' ...
... and a guy's very honest perspective on vaginaplasty and labioplasty (labial surgery / female genital cosmetic surgery)
Get Ready for
Vaginal Self Improvement Tips!
This is one of those
self improvement articles that may disturb some folks. It is about vaginas.
Specifically it concerns vaginal plastic surgery to get the perfect vagina. It
has come to my attention that some women desire that. They want to be the proud
owner of The Perfect Pussy, or as colloquial speech would have it, The Perfect
Cunt.This article falls under a Self Improvement Tips heading, more or less, so we'll be examining certain aspects to do with the 'why' of female genital cosmetic surgery and, of course, investigating what is perhaps the most interesting question here: In the light of personal development is this practice (cosmetic vagina plastic surgery) a good idea or not?
Vaginal Plastic Surgery and
the Perfect Vagina: Why?
So. WHY do women want vaginal plastic surgery of the
cosmetic variety?Apart from the (very) few cases where a woman has labia (pussy lips) so big that they actually, physically get in the way and hurt when they, say, ride a horse or a bicycle, there are two main reasons, I think: the women's self concept and their concept of men.
Well. Being a personal development coach I know a thing or two about people's self concept. And being a man, and one who is not just a coach but one who also has some surprisingly honest male friends, I know a lot about what goes on inside a man. I even have a page coming up that I call Understanding Men [LINK upcoming].
So, then. Some women - perhaps even you included - would like to have 'the perfect vagina'. And some of those women (again, that may or may not include you) are actually willing to go through expensive and unpleasant vaginal plastic surgery to get something that may or may not be 'it'.
One wonders why these women would subject their most tender body parts to such scalpel-based treatment? As is often the case the most likely answer is also the simplest one. Well, apart from something very important to do with women's insecurities and their self concept (which we'll get to) my guess about the 'why?' of vaginal plastic surgery would be this: Men.
Womens Self Concept: Vaginal Insecurities
It is almost, but (evidently) not quite needless to say that when a woman goes looking for cosmetic vaginal plastic surgery for non-medical reasons the most basic and most important reason has to do with how she sees herself, her self concept. Many women have a truckload of insecurities, one of which has to do with their genitalia. (Yep, a number of men have those, too, but theirs tend to be more one-dimensional - mostly its a question of size: Is my Willy big enough?). With women the insecurities appear to be more complex. Some want to be bigger here and smaller there and for some it is the other way around, but the reasons remain the same:They are not satisfied. They think what they have is not what they SHOULD have. They are at odds with reality which is never a nice thing to be - and something for which there is only one really effective cure: To get OUT OF (let go of) their personal reality and get INTO absolute reality - something that can also be described with a few simple words that we all understand: Unconditional acceptance of what is.
If you accept what is (including the way your lady flower looks) the need for cosmetic vaginal plastic surgery (and any other kind of cosmetic surgery as well) disappears. And here are a few other nice things about that: You can do it all by yourself, it doesn't hurt, and it costs nothing.
Women's Concept of Men's Concept of Women (Confused?)
This interesting headline points to a kind of 'disease' that runs rampant in most of today's modern societies: Trying to look and be the way you THINK and IMAGINE other people want you to look and be - a.k.a. not being inside yourself but attempting to be inside other people instead.The basis for this is usually a desperate perceived need [link upcoming] to 'fit in'. In other words, we're back to feeling accepted - or not. The same solution, of course, applies: Accept yourself first and then others will automatically accept you - just the way you are.
But, as with so many other things we go about it all backwards. We attempt to get other people to accept us first, and then we think that we will accept ourselves if only they do. In this backwards and doomed project we invariably try to second guess other people: 'what and how must I be in order to be accepted?'
So. What in women's concept of men can motivate a woman to want to go for designer vaginas? Well, that, of course, is all about how women think that men see them. A pussy that looks like 'this' is supposed to be 'pretty' and a pussy that looks like 'that' is supposed to be 'not pretty'. At least that is what many women think that men think. And those women - they couldn't be more wrong.
Who Am I to Talk? Just Another Vagina Expert ... :-)
I am a man myself and I know quite a bit about how I and other men think. Okay, I don't have a vagina myself. (Though I do think it would be great if I did - as long as it didn't preclude me having my current male equipment as well). So, I may not have my own vagina, but I sure appreciate other people's vaginas. They, and more specifically the women they are a part of, have given me such joy over the years.Yes, I am a lover of women, and a vagina lover, too. This makes me biased, I'm sure. It also makes me something of an expert in the field. Both in the field of women (as far as a man can be an expert in that (see for yourself at Understanding Women) and in the field of women's private parts. How about that - perhaps I should put it on my business card ... I'll leave it up to your imagination what the text might be.
Aaanyway, my claim is that loving something is the best way to become an expert in it, whatever it is. As you may know - or can at least see from the name of this website - for me the BIG thing for years and years has been personal development (and spirituality). But the fair sex and sex in general (see e.g. the page Making Love) are things right up there at the top, too.
The Perfect Vagina: Individual, Racial and Cultural Differences
In any case the answer to why most of the women who go for female genital cosmetic surgery do it is this: They are sure that designer vaginas are prettier than what nature has blessed them with. Very often because their inner pussy lips (inner labia a.k.a. labia minora) stick out beyond their outer pussy lips (outer labia a.k.a. labia majora).Maybe what they think is that it doesn't look 'neat and tidy' or even 'normal' (whatever that is supposed to mean). Probably what they think is that other people, most notably men, don't like that.
If you'll excuse my language, all of that is a load of crap!
First off, it is important to note that inner labia that protrude beyond the outer labia are very common and totally normal in all races of women. Their lady flower is SUPPOSED to look like that!
Three Kinds of Naturally Perfect Vaginas
Some folks who make a living from websites that display women's private parts have even come up with a terminology that describes what they see as the three different kinds of lady flower (as seen from the front when the lady is standing up):- The Puffy Peach (the inner labia are completely hidden by the outer labia, producing a closed-up effect that resembles the 'line' in a peach)
- The Tasty Taco (the inner labia are partly visible outside the outer labia, producing a visual effect somewhat reminiscent of a taco shell with tasty food inside it)
- The Charming Cherry (the inner labia protrude very visibly beyond the outer labia, hanging down in a way that makes the totality somewhat resemble a stalk & cherry)
Don't you just love the mental imagery? :-)
Apparently the Tasty Taco is the most common one, making the other two types particularly sought after by connoisseurs. (Most men, however, like all three kinds. In fact, most men like whatever kind the woman they are with happens to have!)
Also, there are differences between the different human races. When it comes to height, skin color and facial features we all know this, but it is also true for the female genitals. No matter what color your skin is the color of your female genitalia may vary greatly, and this is even more true for their shape and size. For example there are some ethnic groups in Africa (e.g. the Khoisan, Khoekhoe, Sho, Barwa, Kung, Khwe, often collectively called the San) where it is close to universal that the labia minora produde approx. 4 cm (1.6 inches) beyond the outer labia.
The Labia Size of Naturally Perfect Vaginas
According to acclaimed American obstetrician, gynecologist, research scientist, maternal health educator and artist Robert Latou Dickinson (1861-1950) the 'normal' size range of one American female labia minora (inner pussy lip) is from 0+ cm / inches to 6+ cm (2 1/3+ inches) - equaling up to 12+ cm (4.7+ inches) from tip to tip for both labia minora when spread open; and he has also reported a size of 7.5 cm (3 inches) - equaling a spread-open size up to 15 cm (5.9 inches) from tip to tip.This is without any kind of tension applied. When 'moderate tension' was applied to the latter lady bits they achieved a 'wing span' of 23 cm (9 inches) tip to tip.
(Note: If the approx. 3.000 women that Robert L. Dickinson measured included African American women or not is unknown).
Of course, as the mere existence of vaginal plastic surgery to get 'the perfect vagina' reminds us, not everybody is content with what nature has provided. Both the men and the women of some African tribes (e.g. the Venda tribe in southern Africa and the Benin tribe in western Africa) find large labia very attractive (as do many Western men) and the females of these tribes are not content with what Nature has provided but do much to artificially enlarge their natural labia.
Therefore, apparently, among these African tribes a hanging length of 15 cm (5.9 inches) of the labia minora is not uncommon, and a hanging length of 17.8 cm (7 inches) has been recorded - giving the ladies a whopping no-tension tip-to-tip 'wing span' of 35.6 cm (14 inches) when spread open. (This must be the reverse version of Western vaginal plastic surgery).
In other words: As far as the female flower is concerned there is PLENTY of room for variation! So please know that no matter what your vagina looks like, it looks fine!
Vaginal Plastic Surgery to Look Pretty? Please Think Again
So, back to vaginal plastic surgery to get the perfect vagina, also known as producing designer vaginas, also known as cosmetic labial surgery a.k.a. female genital cosmetic surgery a.k.a. cosmetogynecology a.k.a. vaginoplasty a.k.a. vaginaplasty a.k.a. labioplasty a.k.a. labiaplasty. Sometimes even called vulvovaginal aesthetic surgery or just vaginal aesthetic surgery for 'short'.If you are reading this you may be one of the growing number of women considering vaginal plastic surgery. Here's my best piece of advice to you regarding that:
If your labia are so big they cause you pain every time you sit down or ride a bicycle, or there is some other physical/medical reason for you to want labioplasty - fine, go ahead book your appointment, get your doctor's agreement, pay the money and then get your vaginal plastic surgery.
BUT if you want vaginal plastic surgery (labial surgery) in order to look pretty, don't go there. Please. Or at least consider not going there. Or, at the very least, read what I have to say here first.
Let me just give you three real quick but very good reasons why you may want to reconsider having vaginal plastic surgery.
Opinion about Designer Vaginas: A Waste of Money, Time and Pain
First off, it is highly likely that it is a waste of time, pain and money (you'll easily be paying something like $3000 to $6000).As for the bit about the pain, well, labioplasty just might damage some very important nerves ... if you want, you can check out this article at the Free Library: Fear Over Designer Vaginas. You might also think about it like this: You probably have a scar somewhere on your body - try testing how sensitive to touch the scar is when compared to the area next to the scar. Odds are the scar tissue is less sensitive than the regular tissue. Do you really want scar tissue in your lady parts?
Oh, and to see why I think you'd be wasting your hard earned cash, please read on.
Secondly, the labioplasty is not likely to actually SOLVE anything for you - for that you need to check and work on your self concept (how you see yourself, what you identify with) and your self esteem (your sense of self worth). If you can learn to relax your ego, or even to some extent to stop identifying yourself with it (i.e. stop believing that you are your ego and that your ego is you), then odds are that you will make huge strides in these areas and if you do ... you will find that this was what you really needed in the first place, and vaginal plastic surgery in an attempt to artificially create the perfect vagina has nothing to do with, well, anything.
Thirdly, you will be making a lot of guys like me quite sad. You may think youre making the guys happy, but really, youre not. Let me get deeper into this last reason and maybe, just maybe, kill off some of the fear based ideas you have about how men see you and your lady flower.
How Men See Women - and Their Lovely Lady Parts
There are a lot of guys out there who really like what nature has provided you women with between your legs. Seriously. We do.We like to look at it, sniff it, play with it, kiss it, lick it and generally have a wonderful time with it. Just the way it is.
And no, it doesn't matter how many children you have given birth to vaginally, we still like what you've got. Why?
Because it is YOU.
And because we love life the way life is.
Quite a lot of us even prefer to look at (and play with) women who have given birth vaginally, because we feel that the changes that may have occurred make the vagina even more of a beautiful flower.
So whatever life has seen fit to bless you with in terms of labia and the rest of your reproductive equipment, we love it just the way it is.
That is the way love looks at you, you know.
Love doesn't want you to pay $5000 to make you look more boring 'down there'. Many of us men (the majority, I'm sure) really like the fact that your pussy is unique - totally one of a kind. It just makes us love it - and you - all the more.
And, seeing as how most men never really grow up, well, we do like to have something to play with, too. Please don't let some surgeon take away our toys! But that's secondary. The MOST important thing of all is this:
Just the way it is.
No need for labioplasty, vaginaplasty, vaginal plastic surgery, cosmetic labial surgery, female genital cosmetic surgery, a designer vagina or what ever you want to call it. No need at all.
Vaginal Plastic Surgery - What You Really Need
What there MIGHT be a need of, however, is acceptance. That is, a need for you to accept your lady parts. Have you ever looked at them in a mirror? I mean REALLY looked at them? For a long time - long enough for your self judgment to wane a bit?And, yes, maybe even looked at your vagina in a mirror while you caressed it with a finger you've just wet in your mouth, or a finger dipped in oil? Not for the sake of masturbation (though that may turn out to be the end result) but for the sake of acceptance and appreciation?
Do you APPRECIATE your pussy? Honestly? If you are seriously thinking about putting it under the knife in vaginal plastic surgery then I sincerely doubt it. So maybe that's a good place to start. The two A's:
Acceptance and Appreciation.
In time you might even reach the third A, which is the typical male reaction to the sight of your lady parts:
Admiration.
This is all about you and your relationship with your own body. Or, perhaps, the relationship that you don't have. If you really considered your labia to be an integral part of yourself, would you want to cut them off?
Being a coach I have actually encountered and worked with my share of women who were not satisfied with their face, their hair, their breasts, their hips, their tummy, their bottom or their private parts (yes, certainly, that too!).
When I have asked them why, they have invariably given me the answer that they just want to look pretty. Or maybe they just want to look 'normal', whatever that is, and they just don't consider whatever part(s) of themselves they want put under the knife 'normal' enough, or pretty enough.
But why, then do they want to look more 'normal' or more 'pretty'? Well, because of men. Very nearly all the (heterosexual) women I have talked to who wanted some sort of cosmetic plastic surgery really wanted to look normal or pretty because of men. This includes the ones who want vaginal plastic surgery to come closer to what they think is 'the perfect vagina'.
"Getting Rid of My Meat Curtains So My Lovers Will Like Me Better"
Yep, I have even worked with women who were embarrassed to take off their clothes in front of their lovers because of the size of their labia - one even talked about "getting rid of my meat curtains so my lovers will like me better". Well, girls, I have got news for you:Men accept, appreciate and admire your vagina. Just the way it is. We really do!
Yes, yes, I know that not ALL men will accept, appreciate and admire your pussy. But most will. Trust me! Big or small labia, small or big clitoris, hair or no hair, young or old, it doesn't matter: Most men ADORE the female genitalia, just the way they are!
Why else do you think men spend hours and hours (and hours!) online looking at them?
Some are even so fascinated they develop an internet porn addiction [LINK upcoming]. But that's another matter.
The fact remains that we LOVE what you've got - no matter what you've got. When it comes to the question 'designer vaginas or not' that's one of the most important self improvement tips I can give you.
Men Who Hurt Inside May Hurt You, Too
What I just said is true for the vast majority of men. Then there are the minorities. I need to speak to you about the few men who are not like that so that you may know a bit about what you are dealing with should you ever come across such a man.The world being what it is, it stands to reason that occasionally you will meet (or you have already met) a man who is all closed up and twisted inside. He might have been brought up to hate and despise a lot of things, or to follow horrible and bodily mutilating practices, or he may have been traumatized some other way. Either way, he may be contracted, broken and hurting inside.
Such a man may have a negative reaction to ... well, anything: music, literature, opinions, skin color, the sight of a naked woman or the sight of a naked woman's genitalia.
You already know this, but please allow me to remind you: One scared, confused and hurting man's negative reaction is NOT because you have the wrong skin color, or the wrong gender, or because your lady parts are in any way wrong or ugly.
The poor man is simply closed off from life itself, at least in some areas, and feels terrible because of that. He is hurting, and he may inadvertently (or deliberately) be hurting other people around him. You too, perhaps. Do not make the mistake to think that such a man is representative of all men everywhere.
Of course you will also find men who just a little bit broken, traumatized and closed off. Men who seem pretty normal in most ways but who have nevertheless been hurt; perhaps by being fed all kinds of weird and more or less life denying beliefs. There is no way to tell what strange beliefs may lurk in other people, be they male or female, and such bizarre beliefs may color their views and reactions in a life denying fashion. Still, they remain the minority, by far.
Finally, there are the men who are simply not aware, not really conscious (of themselves, or you or of life in general). They are asleep, so to speak, even if they are walking, talking, going to work ... and making love to you. Now, most of these men will still have a positive reaction you your lady parts, even in their 'sleep', and so they will not want you to attempt vaginal plastic surgery to get 'the perfect vagina'. They will simply react the way the vast majority of men do and like what you've got, no matter what you've got.
However, some of the men who are not really conscious of anything much, some of those guys who are truly 'heard animals' will tend to follow the pattern of thinking 'average = beauty'.
To me, and probably to most other men, average does not equal real beauty (it is more likely to equal 'dull'), and this ... 'does average = beauty?' thing is in fact a fascinating subject I intend explore further soon [LINK upcoming], perhaps directly under the heading Self Improvement Tips, but for now let's just check out the concept really, really fast.
If you have ever given any real attention to what most professional models actually look like, you will have noticed this: They don't look like anything much. At the risk of insulting some highly paid models they don't even look like anyone much. They just don't have all that many distinguishing features.
This, in fact, is why they can work as models and earn a lot of money doing so: They look average.
Average = 'Pretty'?
Supermodels do not look 'average' in the way most people usually use the word, but average in the true sense of the word: Nothing about a highly paid model is really big; noting is really small; nothing is REALLY noteworthy in any way at all. Everything is in fact incredibly average.Now, you may pull up a few exceptions to this rule, of course. Michelle Pfeiffer, for instance, who is today a highly paid actress, used to be a highly paid model, and she DOES in fact have some distinguishing features that are not average. But you know as well as I do that Michelle is the exception rather than the rule.
The rule is that to be 'pretty' or 'beautiful' a woman must in fact be as truly average as possible. (It has even been proven scientifically, but I'm not going to go into that here).
Well, surprise, surprise, the same thing goes for your lady parts. Vaginal plastic surgery to get you 'the perfect vagina' does not make your pussy 'prettier' or 'more beautiful' - vaginaplasty simply makes your lady parts more AVERAGE. And average is BORING. If you ask me.
If you don't believe me, you can check out a couple the websites of plastic surgeons that display 'before' and 'after' pictures of cosmetic labial surgery (labioplasty and vaginoplasty). For example here's one (warning, real vaginas on display there): cosmetic labial surgery photos - and there's another vaginal surgery gallery here: labiaplasty photos.
NO OFFENCE to the women who paid for their surgery in pain and cash, but when I look at all the 'before' vaginal plastic surgery photos of vaginas I find that I like them. Every single one of them. The majority of the 'after' labiaplasty photos, on the other hand, display pussies that look kind of stunted (just a little bit 'off' somehow) and very ... you know ... average and therefore just a tad boring. Sorry, girls.
Now, if you're one of the women who have undergone female genital cosmetic surgery to become more average 'down there' and this pleases you - great. More power to you!
I am just advocating that you girls who think you want the perfect pussy 'give it another think' that's all. Who knows, maybe you DON'T want to look totally average. Maybe you like being unique.
However, if you DO decide you want 'the average vagina' I do believe the most men will not change their basic opinion of your vagina, because REGARDLESS of how it looks most men WILL look at your pussy with:
Acceptance, Appreciation and Admiration.
Plus a single L-word as well.
Yep, you've guessed it:
Love.
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