Overcoming Low Self Esteem and Self Esteem Building

self esteem wall• Having self esteem issues? Or think you might?
• Get a bunch of powerful self esteem activities to do at any time

• That includes a quiz for self esteem, self esteem games ...
• ... self esteem exercises ... ways of overcoming low self esteem ...
• ... tips and advice on self esteem building, plus ...
• ... self esteem lesson plans and self esteem worksheets

• Also: Did you know that nearly everybody has self esteem issues?
• Ever wonder why? Here, you can see why (it's a little known fact).

That Sneaky, Sinking Feeling of Low Worth ...

Oh, yeah, surely you know what I'm talking about: It's a feeling that keeps arising, a thought that keeps recurring, an unpleasant sensation in the body, a basis on which you make some - pretty lousy - decisions.

It's that weird idea, deep down, that actually you are some kind of 'low life':

Not good enough. Not worthy. Not important. It's the notion that you are not whole - that there's somehow something missing in you, or something fundamentally wrong with you.

And it's connected to a similar feeling about life itself: Somehow there's something about life that's not as it should be.

In other words: Low self esteem.

Definition of Self Esteem 

The dictionary defines self esteem as: A good opinion of oneself.

I would define self esteem as: A belief about yourself that has to do with how highly you value yourself.

(Please note that self esteem is a belief - this is important; we'll get back to why).

Self esteem activities, then, are any and all activities that affect your belief about how much you are worth. Preferably in a positive direction (empowerment).

The Difference Between Self Confidence and Self Esteem
In everyday talk self esteem often gets mixed up with self confidence. There's a big difference, though.

Self confidence has to do with skills. If you have trained and honed a skill for a long time, you acquire self confidence in that area.

Perhaps you're confident as a sales person, or confident as a housewife/work at home mom, or perhaps you have the black belt in karate, making you confident in your body and your ability to defend yourself physically. That's self confidence.

Self Esteem, on the other hand, is your belief in your own worth. That's something much more basic - and perhaps more hidden.

Self Esteem and Life Esteem

'Life esteem' is not a very commonly used word. The concept is important, though. Basically, it's the same as self esteem, only with life esteem you're looking out instead of in: Thinking, feeling, believing that something about life is not as it should be (=low life esteem).

Both low self esteem and low life esteem are concepts that have to do with a perceived lack of wholeness. Both concepts engender a feeling of basic distrust: Distrust in yourself, and distrust in life.

Both these conditions of non-trust are crippling.

Quiz for Self Esteem: Do You Have Self Esteem Issues?

You want to know how you're doing in the area of self esteem? Want to know if you have self esteem issues - and get some self esteem tips about what to do about them? Then please visit this page.

Alternatively, you can simply read on and do the simple test questions below. As far as self esteem activities go either choice is an excellent first step.

Self Esteem Tests

At the most basic level:

- Do you feel worthy? Worthy of success? Worthy of a good life? Worthy of love? Worthy of being alive at all?

- Are you absolutely sure that you are whole?

- Do you feel that you are as you should be?

- Are you sure there's nothing fundamentally wrong with you?

- Do you feel one hundred percent good enough?

- Do you feel valuable?

- Do you feel important?

- And how about life: Is life fundamentally as it should be?

life esteem and self esteem
If your answer to any or all of these questions is no, then you are like most people: You have self esteem issues.

If your answer to all of the above questions is yes, that's really great for you; but then please tell me:

Do you feel like that all the time, 24/7, all year round?

Even in the winter, when you're stressed at work, haven't had enough sleep, haven't had enough nutritious food, and you have serious challenges with the people close to you - do you honestly still feel entirely worthy, whole, valuable, important, good enough and quite as you should be?

If your answer is still yes, congratulations! You're that one person in a hundred, perhaps even in a thousand or more, who doesn't need the information and self esteem activities on this page, because you don't have self esteem issues and challenges.

As for all the rest of us, well, we DO have such challenges.

Who Has Self Esteem Issues? Almost Everybody!

Most of us have issues with low self esteem. I know I do and I'm pretty darn sure that you do, too, because my guesstimate is that MORE than 98 percent of us do.

Even lots of people who seem like they don't have problems with low self esteem, actually do.

For example, very often (always?) a pushy, self promoting or arrogant behaviour is just a cover for low self esteem.

And sometimes the weakened self esteem only becomes apparent under pressure. Low self esteem may be so well hidden that even the person in question has no conscious awareness of it.

Is It Getting Better - or Worse?

Happily the percentage of people who have self esteem issues is falling, or that's my impression. It may be falling very slowly right now, but over time that fall will pick up speed.

I myself intend to help with that. Not only by overcoming low self esteem in myself (which, I'm happy to report, I'm very well on the way to doing), but also by helping people like you do the same.

My own process of personal development has helped me immensely, and I, in turn, have helped many people as a coach, consciousness guide, self help author and personal development teacher.

Self esteem (and life esteem) issues are very fundamental and challenging to overcome, yes, but knowledge of some little known facts about self esteem is really helpful - and there are some excellent self esteem activities you can do which will also help you a lot.


Lots of Self Esteem Activities for You

There are lots and lots of different self esteem activities you can do. They include (but aren't limited to):

• - - - Do a quiz for self esteem (one of those self esteem tests)
• - - - A regular check of yourself and your life for low self esteem signs
• - - - Check out your life esteem
• - - - Learn methods for overcoming low self esteem
• - - - Get tips and advice on self esteem building
• - - - Work on being & staying mindful and self observing
• - - - Play self esteem games with yourself (and others, too)
• - - - Purposefully do self esteem exercises
• - - - And, if you're the planning type:
• - - - Make self esteem lesson plans and use self esteem worksheets

This page will give you (and point you towards) hints, tips and advice on most of the above mentioned self esteem activities - plus:

• - - - Deepen your understanding via high level insight into self esteem

In other words: We'll get back to each of the above self esteem activities in the text below.

Why Do We All Have Self Esteem Issues?

Why does almost everybody have self esteem issues, overtly or covertly?

The answer is this:

Self esteem issues are directly linked to the ego - you know, the problem solver; the mental defence mechanism - that limited and fear-based part of us which might be called our relative identity. The part of us that prides itself in how different from everybody else we are. The part that always thinks, feels and says 'I', 'me', 'I', 'me', 'I', 'me'.

The 98+ percent of the world's population who have self esteem issues are the same 98+ percent who are entirely or partially identified with their ego.

(When I say 'identified' I mean: People who consciously or subconsciously think, say, feel and believe: 'I am my ego, and my ego is who I am' - and behave accordingly).

To put it bluntly:

If you are in any way identified with your ego, then you have self esteem issues!

The correlation is simple:

The more identified with your ego you are, the more self esteem issues you have!

The less identified with your ego you are, the less self esteem issues you have!

Believe even a little bit in the relative identity of your ego - and you've set yourself up with low self esteem!

Low Self Esteem Signs

Basically there are two ways that low self esteem may show up. Not surprisingly, they both have to do with your ego.

Possibility no. 1: You Have a Self Depreciating Ego
You have that inner sense or inner dialogue telling you that you're not whole, not good enough, not valuable, not important, not as you should be. This shows in your behaviour, too.

Possibility no. 2: You Have a Self Inflating Ego
You may hate to admit it, but at the end of the day your inner dialogue is also negative concerning yourself. You'll be damned, though, if you'll let anybody else put you down. Or even see your 'weakness'. You're ready to fight to show everybody that you are worthy. Only ... the very reason why you fight is actually this: You, too, have worthiness issues.

In Any Case ...
... the sad fact is, there is hardly a one among us who could not use some self esteem help. Read more about the signs and symptoms of low self esteem (and the matching self esteem building activities) on the page Low Self Esteem Signs.

The Key to All Your Self Esteem Issues

So ... okay, then, now we know that there's a direct link between your identification with your ego and low self esteem. But what's the common denominator?

The answer is this:

If you identify with your ego you believe you are your ego, and your ego is you.

If you have low self esteem you believe that you are not worthy and whole.

In both cases it's a belief. Your relative identity is a belief. Self esteem is a belief.

This is extremely interesting. In fact, it's the key. Belief is the key to both your identity and to overcoming low self esteem.

Briefly put, the more unpleasant things you believe about yourself (i.e. that you are not whole, not worthy, not good enough, etc.), the more limited and the less authentic you feel. Happily, the following is also true: The more you are lying to yourself.

In other words: None of those beliefs are true! You are actually whole, worthy, good enough, etc. and you always have been.

To really understand how that can be so, you need to understand something about beliefs. The more you understand, the better equipped you will be to dealing with self esteem issues and overcoming low self esteem.

Learn More about Beliefs and Self Esteem

Overcoming Low Self Esteem

The first and perhaps most powerful thing you can do is to completely let go of your beliefs about your own worth, thus completely overcoming your low self esteem issues once and for all.

(But, don't you need those beliefs? No, you absolutely do not! In fact, you don't need any beliefs what so ever.)

Since self esteem is so closely linked to the ego, and the ego is so big a part of most people's relative self identity most folks need to spend quite some time and energy letting go of those beliefs about their own worth. As self esteem activities go, this one is takes the price as number one.

You can read more about letting go in general on the page Letting Go, and soon you will be able to read more about this subject specifically (and the related self esteem activities) on the upcoming page Overcoming Low Self Esteem .  

Self Esteem Building

Another way to proceed is changing your beliefs about your own worth for the better, thus slowly building high self esteem (or, at least higher self esteem).

(What does 'for the better' mean? It means 'anything that's closer to the absolute truth / absolute reality [LINK], i.e. anything that's less self depreciating, and less limiting'.)

Beliefs, you see, are like self fulfilling prophecies. Whenever we believe something, we seek to 'prove' it to ourselves (and oftentimes to others, too). We look for 'evidence' that supports our belief and ignore or explain away everything that doesn't.

When you're into personal development, self help and self improvement you can use this fact by consciously picking new, more empowering beliefs and then supporting them in your thoughts, words and actions. Those are some powerful self esteem activities.

Read more about these things on the upcoming page Self Esteem Building.

Check Out Your Life Esteem

What’s your opinion of life? What do you believe about life? Is it dangerous? Is it safe? Can you trust life or not?

Your life esteem is your beliefs about life, combined with how much trust you have in life.

You know what funny about that? The fact that it functions like a mirror, exactly like a mirror. Life reflects back to you whatever you believe about it. There is a reason for that, which is nice to know, but more importantly it means that you can use your life esteem to control the quality of your life. 

Practicing Mindfulness, Notice Your Patterns and Observe Your Ego

This particular self esteem activity is one that never ends. It’s to your advantage to do it now, to do it when you relax your identification with your ego, and to do it when you have achieved spiritual enlightenment.

The activity has been known for millennia and has many names. Practicing mindfulness, noticing your patterns and observing the ego are three excellent ones.

It’s a very simple activity, but certainly not always easy to do. The more stressed (or scared) you are, the harder it is. And, at the same time, the more important it is.

The basic advantage of noticing your patterns is elevated consciousness and thus: freedom. Until you realize you have a pattern, you’re the slave of it - you just follow the pattern without even thinking. The moment you notice your pattern, you start having a choice: Do you want to follow the pattern ... or not?

The mere observing of a pattern is a breaking free from it. You don’t even have to do anything to let go of it. Of course by specifically working on letting go of it, you speed up the process.

Read more about these things and their related self esteem activities on the upcoming page Practicing Mindfulness.

Self Esteem in the Workplace

It appears that there are two simultaneous movements going on in the workplace (at least in the Western world).

The first and most common one can be described as: 'Work faster and harder ... or be punished (or even fired)!' and the second one, which is gaining in popularity, could be described as: 'Let's build up our people and focus on cooperation, coaching and achieving goals!'

The first one produces unhappy, disloyal employees (i.e. higher staff turnover) with low self esteem and a non-productive focus (on avoiding) who produce sub-par results.

The second one produces happy, loyal employees (i.e. lower staff turnover) with high self esteem and a productive focus (on achieving) who produce above-par results.

Self Esteem Games

Is overcoming low self esteem a game? Well, it can be, and why shouldn’t it be? When you have self esteem issues (and don’t we all?) one of your primary problems is actually that you tend to take yourself too seriously. Yes, I mean that, and no, I’m not being rude.

The fact of the matter is that most of us take ourselves MUCH too seriously, and that is actually one of our main problems. If, for a change, we didn’t take ourselves (and our lives) so damn seriously, a LOT of our problems would simply evaporate and we’d make our lives infinitely more enjoyable.

So, as far as self esteem activities go, self esteem games are a really good idea. Read more on the page Self Esteem Games.

Doing Self Esteem Exercises

If you tend to be a more serious type, and you really can’t make yourself see yourself improving self esteem by making a game out of it, then perhaps this is for you: Self Esteem Exercises.

Use Self Esteem Worksheets

If you want a structured, but easy to use approach to self esteem activities then the way to go for you might be using Self Esteem Worksheets .

Make Self Esteem Lesson Plans

If y serious and/or the planning type then you may want to try making Self Esteem Lesson Plans.

Please Remember This

No matter what you choose, do please remember this:

Self esteem is a belief, and your free will trumps every single belief you have.

You can change - or totally drop - any of your beliefs any time you choose.

Dealing constructively with (low) self esteem is doable, and you can do it!

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Where Would You Like to Go Next?

Being interested in self esteem and self esteem activities you might also like to read something related at the page Letting Go, or at the page Be Yourself, or at the page The Meaning of Life

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