• Having self esteem issues? Or think you might?
• Get a bunch of powerful
self esteem activities to do at any time
• That includes a quiz for self
esteem, self esteem games ...
• ... self esteem exercises ... ways of
overcoming low self esteem ...
• ... tips and advice on self esteem building,
• ... self esteem lesson plans and self esteem worksheets
Also: Did you know that nearly everybody has self esteem issues?
wonder why? Here, you can see why (it's a little known fact).
That Sneaky, Sinking Feeling of Low Worth ...
Oh, yeah, surely you know what
I'm talking about: It's a feeling that keeps arising, a thought that keeps
recurring, an unpleasant sensation in the body, a basis on which you make some -
pretty lousy - decisions.
It's that weird idea, deep down, that actually
you are some kind of 'low life':
Not good enough. Not worthy. Not
important. It's the notion that you are not whole - that there's somehow
something missing in you, or something fundamentally wrong with you.
it's connected to a similar feeling about life itself: Somehow there's something
about life that's not as it should be.
In other words: Low self esteem.
Definition of Self Esteem
The dictionary defines self esteem as:
A good opinion of oneself.
I would define self esteem as: A belief about
yourself that has to do with how highly you value yourself.
that self esteem is a belief - this is important; we'll get back to why).
Self esteem activities, then, are any and all activities that affect your
belief about how much you are worth. Preferably in a positive direction
The Difference Between Self Confidence and Self
In everyday talk self esteem often gets mixed up with self confidence.
There's a big difference, though.
Self confidence has to do with skills.
If you have trained and honed a skill for a long time, you acquire self
confidence in that area.
Perhaps you're confident as a sales person, or
confident as a housewife/work at home mom, or perhaps you have the black belt in
karate, making you confident in your body and your ability to defend yourself
physically. That's self confidence.
Self Esteem, on the other hand, is
your belief in your own worth. That's something much more basic - and perhaps
Self Esteem and Life Esteem
'Life esteem' is not a
very commonly used word. The concept is important, though. Basically, it's the
same as self esteem, only with life esteem you're looking out instead of in:
Thinking, feeling, believing that something about life is not as it should be
(=low life esteem).
Both low self esteem and low life esteem are concepts
that have to do with a perceived lack of wholeness. Both concepts engender a
feeling of basic distrust: Distrust in yourself, and distrust in life.
Both these conditions of non-trust are crippling.
You want to know how
you're doing in the area of self esteem? Want to know if you have
self esteem issues - and get some self esteem tips about what to do
about them? Then please visit
Alternatively, you can simply read
on and do the simple test questions below. As far as self esteem
activities go either choice is an excellent first step.
At the most basic level:
- Do you feel
worthy? Worthy of success? Worthy of a good life? Worthy of
love? Worthy of being alive at all?
- Are you
absolutely sure that you are whole?
- Do you feel that
you are as you should be?
- Are you sure there's
nothing fundamentally wrong with you?
- Do you feel one
hundred percent good enough?
- Do you feel valuable?
- Do you feel important?
- And how about life: Is
life fundamentally as it should be?
If your answer to
any or all of these questions is no, then you are like most
people: You have self esteem issues.
If your answer to
all of the above questions is yes, that's really great for
you; but then please tell me:
Do you feel like that all
the time, 24/7, all year round?
Even in the winter,
when you're stressed at work, haven't had enough sleep,
haven't had enough nutritious food, and you have serious
challenges with the people close to you - do you honestly
still feel entirely worthy, whole, valuable, important, good
enough and quite as you should be?
If your answer is
still yes, congratulations! You're that one person in a
hundred, perhaps even in a thousand or more, who doesn't need
the information and self esteem activities on this page,
because you don't have self esteem issues and challenges.
As for all the rest of us, well, we DO have such
Who Has Self Esteem Issues? Almost
Most of us have issues with low self esteem. I
know I do and I'm pretty darn sure that you do, too, because
my guesstimate is that MORE than 98 percent of us do.
Even lots of people who seem like they don't have problems
with low self esteem, actually do.
For example, very
often (always?) a pushy, self promoting or arrogant behaviour
is just a cover for low self esteem.
And sometimes the
weakened self esteem only becomes apparent under pressure. Low
self esteem may be so well hidden that even the person in
question has no conscious awareness of it.
Getting Better - or Worse?
Happily the percentage of people
who have self esteem issues is falling, or that's my
impression. It may be falling very slowly right now, but over
time that fall will pick up speed.
I myself intend to
help with that. Not only by overcoming low self esteem in
myself (which, I'm happy to report, I'm very well on the way
to doing), but also by helping people like you do the same.
My own process of personal development has helped me
immensely, and I, in turn, have helped many people as a coach,
consciousness guide, self help author and personal development
Self esteem (and life esteem) issues are very
fundamental and challenging to overcome, yes, but knowledge of
some little known facts about self esteem is really helpful -
and there are some excellent self esteem activities you can do
which will also help you a lot.
Lots of Self Esteem Activities for You
are lots and lots of different self esteem activities you can
do. They include (but aren't limited to):
• - - - Do a
for self esteem
(one of those self esteem tests)
- - A regular check of yourself and your life for low self
• - - - Check out your life esteem
• - -
- Learn methods for overcoming low self esteem
• - - - Get
tips and advice on self esteem building
• - - - Work on
being & staying mindful and self observing
• - - - Play
self esteem games with yourself (and others, too)
• - - -
Purposefully do self esteem exercises
• - - - And, if
you're the planning type:
• - - - Make self esteem lesson
plans and use self esteem worksheets
This page will
give you (and point you towards) hints, tips and advice on
most of the above mentioned self esteem activities - plus:
• - - - Deepen your understanding via high level insight
into self esteem
In other words: We'll get back to each
of the above self esteem activities in the text below.
Why Do We All Have Self Esteem Issues?
almost everybody have self esteem issues, overtly or covertly?
The answer is this:
Self esteem issues are directly
- you know, the problem solver; the mental
defence mechanism - that limited and fear-based part of us
which might be called our relative identity. The part of us
that prides itself in how different from everybody else we
are. The part that always thinks, feels and says 'I', 'me',
'I', 'me', 'I', 'me'.
The 98+ percent of the world's
population who have self esteem issues are the same 98+
percent who are entirely or partially identified with their
(When I say 'identified' I mean: People who
consciously or subconsciously think, say, feel and believe: 'I
am my ego, and my ego is who I am' - and behave accordingly).
To put it bluntly:If you are in any way identified
with your ego, then you have self esteem issues!
correlation is simple:The more identified with your
ego you are, the more self esteem issues you have!
less identified with your ego you are, the less self esteem
issues you have!
Believe even a little bit in the
relative identity of your ego - and you've set yourself up
with low self esteem!
Basically there are two ways that low self esteem may show up.
Not surprisingly, they both have to do with
Possibility no. 1: You Have a Self Depreciating Ego
have that inner sense or inner dialogue telling you that
you're not whole, not good enough, not valuable, not
important, not as you should be. This shows in your behaviour,
too.Possibility no. 2: You Have a Self Inflating Ego
You may hate to admit it, but at the end of the day your inner
dialogue is also negative concerning yourself. You'll be
damned, though, if you'll let anybody else put you down. Or
even see your 'weakness'. You're ready to fight to show
everybody that you are worthy. Only ... the very reason why
you fight is actually this: You, too, have worthiness issues.
In Any Case ...
... the sad fact is, there is hardly a
one among us who could not use some self esteem help. Read
more about the signs and symptoms of low self esteem (and the
matching self esteem building activities) on the page Low Self
The Key to All Your Self Esteem
So ... okay, then, now we know that there's a direct
link between your identification with your ego and low self
esteem. But what's the common denominator?
If you identify with your ego you believe
are your ego, and your ego is you.
If you have low self
esteem you believe
that you are not worthy and whole.
In both cases it's a belief. Your relative identity is a
belief. Self esteem is a belief.
This is extremely
interesting. In fact, it's the key. Belief is the key to both
and to overcoming low self esteem.
Briefly put, the more unpleasant things you believe about
yourself (i.e. that you are not whole, not worthy, not good
enough, etc.), the more limited and the less authentic you
feel. Happily, the following is also true: The more you are
lying to yourself.
In other words: None of those
beliefs are true! You are actually whole, worthy, good enough,
etc. and you always have been.
To really understand how
that can be so, you need to understand something about
beliefs. The more you understand, the better equipped you will
be to dealing with self esteem issues and overcoming low self
Learn More about Beliefs and Self Esteem
The first and perhaps most powerful thing you can do
is to completely let go of your beliefs about your own worth
thus completely overcoming your low self esteem issues once
and for all.
(But, don't you need those beliefs? No,
you absolutely do not! In fact, you don't need any beliefs
what so ever.)
Since self esteem is so
closely linked to the ego, and the ego is so big a part of
relative self identity
most folks need to spend
quite some time and energy letting go of those beliefs about
their own worth. As self esteem activities go, this one is
takes the price as number one.
You can read more about
letting go in general on the page
, and soon you
will be able to read more about this subject specifically (and
the related self esteem activities) on the upcoming page
Overcoming Low Self Esteem
Another way to proceed is changing your beliefs about your own
worth for the better
, thus slowly building high self esteem
(or, at least higher self esteem).
(What does 'for the
better' mean? It means 'anything that's closer to the absolute
truth / absolute reality [LINK], i.e. anything that's less
self depreciating, and less limiting'.)
see, are like self fulfilling prophecies. Whenever we believe
something, we seek to 'prove' it to ourselves (and oftentimes
to others, too). We look for 'evidence' that supports our
belief and ignore or explain away everything that doesn't.
When you're into personal development, self help and self
improvement you can use this fact by consciously picking new,
more empowering beliefs and then supporting them in your
thoughts, words and actions. Those are some powerful self
Read more about these things on the
upcoming page Self Esteem Building
Check Out Your Life Esteem
What’s your opinion of life? What do you believe about life?
Is it dangerous? Is it safe? Can you trust life or not?
Your life esteem is your beliefs about life, combined with
how much trust you have in life.
You know what funny
about that? The fact that it functions like a mirror, exactly
like a mirror. Life reflects back to you whatever you believe
about it. There is a reason for that, which is nice to know,
but more importantly it means that you can use your life
esteem to control the quality of your life.
This particular self esteem
activity is one that never ends. It’s to your advantage to do
it now, to do it when you relax your identification with your
ego, and to do it when you have achieved spiritual
The activity has been known for
millennia and has many names. Practicing mindfulness, noticing
your patterns and observing the ego are three excellent ones.
It’s a very simple activity, but certainly not always easy
to do. The more stressed (or scared) you are, the harder it
is. And, at the same time, the more important it is.
The basic advantage of noticing your patterns is elevated
consciousness and thus: freedom. Until you realize you have a
pattern, you’re the slave of it - you just follow the pattern
without even thinking. The moment you notice your pattern, you
start having a choice: Do you want to follow the pattern ...
The mere observing of a pattern is a breaking
free from it. You don’t even have to do anything to let go of
it. Of course by specifically working on
letting go of it
speed up the process.
Read more about these things and
their related self esteem activities on the upcoming page
Self Esteem in the Workplace
that there are two simultaneous movements going on in the
workplace (at least in the Western world).
and most common one can be described as: 'Work faster and
harder ... or be punished (or even fired)!' and the second
one, which is gaining in popularity, could be described as:
'Let's build up our people and focus on cooperation, coaching
and achieving goals!'
The first one produces unhappy,
disloyal employees (i.e. higher staff turnover) with low self
esteem and a non-productive focus (on avoiding) who produce
The second one produces happy, loyal
employees (i.e. lower staff turnover) with high self esteem
and a productive focus (on achieving) who produce above-par
overcoming low self esteem a game? Well, it can be, and why
shouldn’t it be? When you have self esteem issues (and don’t
we all?) one of your primary problems is actually that you
tend to take yourself too seriously. Yes, I mean that, and no,
I’m not being rude.
The fact of the matter is that most
of us take ourselves MUCH too seriously, and that is actually
one of our main problems. If, for a change, we didn’t take
ourselves (and our lives) so damn seriously, a LOT of our
problems would simply evaporate and we’d make our lives
infinitely more enjoyable.
So, as far as self esteem
activities go, self esteem games are a really good idea. Read
more on the page Self Esteem Games
If you tend to be a more serious type, and you
really can’t make yourself see yourself improving self esteem
by making a game out of it, then perhaps this is for you:
If you want a structured, but easy to use approach to self
esteem activities then the way to go for you might be using
Self Esteem Worksheets
If y serious and/or the planning type
then you may want to try
making Self Esteem Lesson
Please Remember This
matter what you choose, do please remember this:
esteem is a belief, and your free will trumps every single
belief you have.
You can change - or totally drop - any
of your beliefs any time you choose.
constructively with (low) self esteem is doable, and you can
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Self Esteem Activities: Overcoming Low Self Esteem and Self Esteem Building
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