Want some first time love making tips?
Great! Look no further.
You'll get 10 of those here.
Not 'put body part A into body part B',
but rather ...
... 10 things to consider, discuss with your love partner
and try out
The aim? Simple:
To make your first sexual
intercourse a better experience
First Time Love Making
want to read about how to have intercourse for the first time. I can relate to
You see, I have been where you are.
In fact, everybody has.
Hey, just think about that ... every single person on Earth who has ever had
sexual intercourse has been where you are right now: Thinking about making love
for the first time. Wanting to know the most important things about first time
intercourse. Yeah, and most likely worrying about it, too.
And so I'll
give you some first time love making tips and tell you something about how to
have great sex in general.Note no. 1:
If you're young you may need to
familiarize yourself with the sex laws of your country or state. I am writing
this in the assumption that you know your country's or state's sex laws and that
you are - all things considered - ready for consensual
Also, I'm assuming you're familiar with basic hygiene (the daily use of
water and soap on vital areas of your body), okay? Okay.
WON'T Get Here
I won't be feeding you any of the usual, boring
don't-get-pregnant-or-infected-so-always-use-a-condom type of sexual advice. I
bet you've heard that a hundred times and though it is surely sound advice, it
is often presented in a fear based way.
If you've read other things on
this thePersonalDevelopmentGuy.com, you may have noticed that I don't subscribe
to fear based stuff. In fact, I subscribe to helping people
of fear based
stuff. Because, you know, fear based stuff is crap!
Neither am I going to
tell you a lot about which body part goes into which bodily cavity. I'm betting
you now that too. Firstly, pictures showing that are freely available all over
the Internet. Secondly, you can read a bit about the slightly more technical
aspects of on the page How to Have Intercourse [LINK].
What You WILL
First off, while I do know what I'm talking about, don't take me at
my word. Do find your own truth by testing things out for yourself; it can be a
lot of fun!
Instead, this article is focused on what you need to know
about first time love making to make it a better experience, maybe even a GREAT
Because, you know, it can be. Even if for most people it
usually isn't. First Time Love Making Tips - Tip no. 1:
Expect Too Much
What? Am I telling you that first time lovemaking is a bad
experience for most people?
Yeah. Sorry about that.
love making is usually a strange, unknown, extremely lustful and usually also
very awkward and scary thing.
Oftentimes neither of the lovers is very
experienced. In some cases, like my own, it is a first for both people.
So this'll be the first of my love making tips:
Drop your expectations.
Both your expectations of yourself and your expectations of your love
partner; and your expectations of the first time love making or first time
Practically no matter what your expectations are, real life
is going to be different.
Decide in beforehand that no matter what
happens, it is okay.
If it's a huge success, that's okay. If it's an
awkward, embarrassing, no-fun thing, it is okay. Even if no first time love
making and no first time intercourse actually takes place, it's okay. Yep, even
No matter what happens - or doesn't happen - it's okay.
go into your first time love making with a minimum of expectations and a maximum
of acceptance you can be present
in the situation, and chances are you'll have a
better experience. First Time Love Making Tips - Tip no. 2:
Be a Beginner
Look at it this way: If you want to try out an entirely new
kind of sport, say tennis, you don't expect to play like a pro the first time,
do you? Nor the second, third or fourth time for that matter.
sex is not a sport, it is also not that far removed from sport. Practice makes
the master, both in tennis and in bed.
So this is the second of my love
making tips for you:
Allow yourself to be a beginner.
This is true
whether you are a woman or a man, but it is especially true if you're a man.
For some reason men are supposed to be experts from the very first of making
love. They're not, though. Obviously. Nobody is. Even the greatest lover on
Earth - male or female - had to start somewhere. Just like me and you. So own up
Which brings us to the next of my first time love making tips
... First Time Love Making Tips - Tip no. 3:
do beginners do? They learn.
What do experts do? They keep learning!
Whether you're male or female you want to be a great lover, right?
accept, no, embrace your status as a beginner and L-E-A-R-N. And KEEP learning.
In fact, love making is such a great and incredibly varied thing that you
will probably be learning about it for the rest of your physical life.
far, this is true for me. I am an expert in the field of love making. I kid you
not and I say this without blushing. I love making love and I have a LOT of sex.
Great, great, GREAT sex.
At the same time I am a total beginner. Every
time. I NEVER know what's going to happen. And no two times I have sex (even
with the same partner) is ever the same. Ever.
How weird is that? It's
true, though. That's one of the reasons I love it. And, of course, it's also one
of the reasons why my love partner loves lovemaking just as much as I do.
The reason I am an expert lover is that I REMAIN a total beginner while
still learning all the time.
You can do the same thing. Please do. You
will never regret it. First Time Love Making Tips - Tip no. 4:
Get to Know Yourself - Intimately
Every person and every physical body
is different. Do you know what your body likes? Have you tried pleasuring
yourself (masturbating, and more) in several different ways?
fast, slow, light as a feather, rough and hard, right hand, left hand, both
hands, touching yourself here or there like this or like that, with lubricant,
without lubricant, with gadgets, using pictures, using your imagination,
standing up, sitting down, lying down, sitting on all fours, in the shower, etc.
If not, get started ASAP.
The fourth of my love making tips
for you is this:
Play around with your own body and learn what gives you
You don't need to try out everything you can think of with your
own body before you enter your first time love making, but having a basic
knowledge of what your body likes and doesn't like is a really good idea.
Because, hey, if you don't know some ways to pleasure yourself, how are you
going to guide your love partner in the right directions?
Love Making Tips - Tip no. 5:
Choose a Good Love Partner
What's a good
Well, first off ...A good love partner is someone
you trust and are comfortable with.
That is the most important thing. I
would even say that it's a must. You need to be able to RELAX with your partner
in first time love making.
Secondly, if you love - or are in love with -
your love partner, that's really great. If it is mutual, that's even better.
Love, in any form, opens everything up and makes everything much easier.
Love, however, can take so many different forms, including e.g. friend love,
and I would suggest to you that love in some form (any form) should be present
in your first time love making. It really makes for a much better experience.
But okay, love isn't always overtly present when people decide it's time to
lose their virginity. Hence my suggestion about trusting and being comfortable
with your chosen love partner.
I'm going add a sidebar to this, the fifth
of the first time love making tips. A sidebar with a controversial statement.
Choosing a (Much) More
Experienced Love Partner
If love isn't going to be overtly present, you might
consider choosing a more sexually experienced partner for your first time love
making experience. Preferably someone MUCH more experienced (which often means
much older, too).
I'm not going to defend this statement, because it's
common sense, really.
If you going to learn something new, like tennis,
you would probably either pick a good friend with the same level of experience
as you (which is none) and play about until you had learned the basics - or your
would pick a much more experienced tennis partner who could teach you the moves
really quickly and efficiently.
Right. Well this applies to
love making as well. There is a case to be made for experienced men and women
teaching not so experienced men and women how to make love and how to have great
sex. Sometimes folks like that find each other via the Internet - and have a
I would still make the case for some kind (any kind) of love
being present in your first time love making, though.
Love Making Tips - Tip no. 6:
Don't Take It Seriously - Have Fun!
some areas of the world making love is considered serious business. If you live
in such an area you will be doing yourself a huge favor by relaxing and not
taking love making and sex so seriously.
I don't mean to say that you
should be irresponsible, not at all. I simply mean that if you have read the
first and the fifth of my first time love making tips you will already have
lowered your expectations and decided to be open and honest, and now I suggest
that you take that to the next level.
So here's the sixth of my love
making tips:Be playful. Relax, loosen up and have fun with your first
time love making. Play around with each others bodies and various body parts.
Tickle each other, if you want. Just make sure you laugh a lot.
nothing like laughing to relieve tension. And in first time love making tension
is almost inevitable.
Your love partner will thank you for this, and you
will thank yourself. First Time Love Making Tips - Tip no. 7:
Relax ... Breathe ...
First time love making tip no. 7 is five words
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Choosing a love
partner you're comfortable with and trust, plus having fun and playing around
helps a lot. But relaxing is also a conscious decision.
And given the
lustful but also scary and stressful nature of first time love making (the way
most folks experience it) it's probably a decision you need to make many times
while you are getting ready to make love - AND while you are actually doing it.
So, breathe deep. Consciously will your muscles to relax. Most women doing
this will open up better, so to speak, thus advancing orgasm.
doing this will also open up more but it will typically have the opposite effect
- the effect of delaying orgasm or ejaculation.
With men typically
'coming' way before women these effects are both desirable.
Also, talk to
your partner about the fact that you're nervous. Share a laugh about it. And
force yourself to slow down ... First Time Love Making Tips - Tip
Slow Down ... Move Slowly
Here's the eight of the first time
love making tip:Slow down your movements. Just force yourself to make
almost all your movements at two thirds (or even better: half) the speed you
In fact, the more important and intimate your movement,
the slower you should perform it.
The point of this?
forces you to be present. Also, it gives you - and your love partner - time to
absorb and really experience what is happening.
Moving more slowly may
seem a bit weird at first, but you'll soon learn to enjoy it. When you are
intensely present and aware both you and your love partner will have a MUCH
better experience. First Time Love Making Tips - Tip no. 9:
Choose Time, Place and Circumstances Well
Let me just describe what lousy
circumstances for first time love making are:
It's late at night after a
party. You're dead tired. You're dead drunk, too (and so is your prospective
love partner). It's freezing cold out. You only have 10 minutes and the only
private place to have sex is the backseat of a small, old, dirty, smelly car
where the heater is broken ... and, well, you get the picture.
those things are a bad idea:
Late at night with you being tired will
almost guarantee that your experiences will be much less interesting than they
might have been. Your body wants to sleep, not make love.
You being drunk
will loosen up your inhibitions, sure, but it will also dull your senses and
your motor skills - both of which you definitely don't want, plus it will just
plain old make you stupid.
Being in a hurry is deeply counter-productive
to first time love making.
The backseat of a small, old, dirty, smelly,
ice cold car is very, very far from a nice, warm and comfortable environment.
Now, I'm not saying you need the setting of your first time love making to
be after a long night's sleep the morning after a week of eating only fresh
vegetables and drinking only water.
Nor am I saying it has to take place
in a warm, uterus-like room with 33 candles and incense lit where there is a
soft king size bed with silky sheets and flower petals on it.
But I am
suggesting that you pay attention to the basics of time, place and
circumstances. Love making tip no. 9 is this:
Consider being reasonably
rested, pretty much sober and doing it in a comfortable place with time enough
You won't regret that.
First Time Love Making Tips
- Tip no. 10:
Let Your Love Partner Read These Tips, Too - and Then
The last of these love making tips is simply to:Ask
your prospective love partner to read these 10 first time love making tips and
then sit down (or: lie down) together and have a nice talk about them.
That's all. Final Words:
More First Time Love Making Tips?
All You've Got to Do Is Ask
started writing this text I didn't realize how many great pieces of advice I had
about first time love making. So, I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. You have now
read 10+ of them. I have lots more, and I am considering presenting them in an
ebook for you to buy at a very reasonable price.
If you're interested in
such an ebook, please visit the page
fill out the contact form and
drop me an email. If more than one person (i.e. even just two people) request
this, I'll make it a priority - and I just might send those who request it the
preliminary ebook for free, too. :-)
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