• See what we all REALLY want (no, it's NOT a Porche)!
• Learn how to be happy, how to find happiness.
• Yes, it's really possible!
• Realize how your needs and authentic happiness AREN'T related.
• Read: a definition of happiness, book lists, web-links, etc.
• Inner peace, love & happiness: Get info, tips, techniques, etc.
• And find several (upcoming) collections of good happiness quotes.
What Do You REALLY Want?
Do you know what you want in life? I mean REALLY want?
I once had a teacher (of scuba diving, no less)
who had created his own successful business. You know what he
said? He said: "Most people would not know what they wanted if
it up and bit them on the leg."
Is this true for you?
If so, then I have good
news. You see, I do believe that I know what you want; REALLY
want, that is. I also know how you can get it.
Interested? I thought so.
What You REALLY Want Is More
than just Your Needs Fulfilled
I have worked as
a coach and guide in consciousness for many years now, and
this has given me the opportunity to find out both what people
think they want, and what they really, REALLY want.
Now, you may tell me that you want to survive,
be safe, be free, be recognized, to give and receive, to
develop yourself and to connect with your soul/life itself,
and I would have to agree, for those things are the basic
human needs, and you do want them fulfilled.
But I would also have to tell you that there is
something over and above that which you want. Which is in fact
what you REALLY want.
The answer is happiness. You want to know how
to be happy, how to find happiness.
Another, more prosaic way to put that is: You
want a very pleasant feeling inside, or:
You want a very pleasant experience of life,
one which you might also call:
An experience of REALLY, truly living.
Or, your might call it ...
Peace, Love, Happiness
Yes, those are the big three, aren't they? They are also a
different way of stating what you (and I and everybody else)
really want. Read more about the big three on the page Peace,
Happiness and Feeling Truly
Truly living is not just surviving. Does
surviving make you happy? No, it is just something you need
fulfilled. When it is fulfilled you are not happy per se,
rather, you take it for granted.
The same goes for being safe, being free, being
recognized, giving and receiving, personal development and
your connection with life. You NEED them, but they do not make
you feel that you are truly alive; they do not REALLY satisfy
you in and of themselves.
To be REALLY satisfied you need something over
and above your basic needs. You need a very pleasant
experience of life ... you need to feel 100 percent alive and
You do not need me to tell you this, you
already know it. If do not know it consciously, then you know
it deep inside, in your heart of hearts. It's what drives you
to constantly wonder how to be happy, how to find happiness.
So, now you know that how to be happy has
nothing to do with needs.
Your Big Mistake Regarding
How to Be Happy
But if you are like most people,
then what are you doing?
You are trying to find happiness by getting
your needs fulfilled! You are busy thinking things like:
'If I just had a lot of money, I could buy
almost anything, and then I would not only survive, but I
would feel safe, free, recognized, and so on, and then I would
Sorry, but that is a no go. A waste of time!
Life just does not work that way. So, then, how
does it work?
It is very, very simple. So simple, that you
may hate it when I tell you how. But first, let us look at
some bids about what happiness is and what to do to feel
completely alive and happy.
Many of the great philosophers (all the way back to Aristotle,
and probably long before that, too) have pondered on how to be
happy, how to find happiness, indeed they have grappled with
the concept of authentic happiness itself.
Is happiness 'the good life', is it 'joy' or is
it a state of 'rapture'? Is it a permanent long-term condition
or a fleeting short term one? How does it relate to
satisfaction - and to spiritual enlightenment? If these things
interest you, you can get some practical pointers on the page: Philosophy:
Definition of Happiness
Yeah, both the dictionary and I have got a definition
of the word happiness that
you can read.
Wise Modern Teachers Tell You
How to Be Happy
It stands to reason that the
most relevant place to look for explanations of how to find
happiness is with the people who actually experience happiness
on a relatively permanent daily basis.
Here are a handful of contemporary teachers who
all have experience, opinions and practical advice on how to
find happiness, how to be happy and thus, how to feel fully
: Be totally present here
: Examine all your thoughts
and let them go.
Neale Donald Walsch
: God (or: life) is
not judgemental, but rather unconditionally loving, and you
and God (life) are one and the same, which is why you can
safely let go and let God (life).
Stop judging yourself and others. Relax your ego and
experience being your true self.
Countless other teachers have countless other
(and similar) bids on how to be happy. If you like, you can read
a bit more and get links to these teachers' websites
page also contains my recommendations on which of their books
Happiness Research: Books on Happiness and
How to Be Happy
Apart from the books by
teachers (such as the above mentioned) a large number of books
that are specifically focused on how to be happy and how to
find happiness have been published, some of them actually
based on happiness research.
In my opinion not all of them are equally worth
reading, though. Read my list of recommendations (and the
opposite) here: Happiness
Books on Happiness and How to Be Happy.
Ancient and Modern Techniques
Meditation, yoga and tantra
(including tantric sex) are ancient techniques which were
designed for health and the ultimate purpose of making you
feel totally alive and happy. And they do work; they are good
solutions on how to be happy, how to find happiness, even if
they usually take a long time (years).
Stanislav Grof, The
Brandon Bays and
Let Go Method
myself (Soren Lauritzen) are modern methods designed for both
healing and the purpose of making you feel totally alive and
happy. They also work.
And yet ... Do most people feel totally alive
and happy? No.
Do you feel totally alive and happy? Do you
know how to be happy? Probably not, or you would not be
So, then, what to do?
What to Do
Well, you can use any of the above mentioned teachings,
techniques and methods, of course. In fact, that is a great
idea. But you can also just read on, and then I will tell you
my version of what to do, how to be happy.
However, like I said, you are probably not
going to like it, because it is so simple:
All you have to do is be yourself. Be
totally disarmed and authentic.
That is it. That is all there is to it. That's
how to be happy.
See, I told you that you would not like it. In
all likelihood you are NOT satisfied with this answer.
What's Keeping You Away from
'But I am already myself', you may
tell me. And then I would have to answer yes, you are, but you
are not totally disarmed and totally authentic.
Instead, you are guarded, defensive and
socially adapted, trying to appear to be something or someone
particular (maintaining an internal and external image).
I can tell you here and now that:
Your defenses and
your attempt to appear
as someone particular
(the internal and external image you maintain)
exact things that are keeping you from
feeling totally alive and happy.
There is no doubt about it.
But let me repeat the point, here. To
experience being 100 percent alive and happy you have to be
authentically yourself WITHOUT any defense mechanisms,
including your internal and your external image.
Luckily, at ANY TIME you will IMMEDIATELY
experience aliveness and happiness the very second you
completely let go of your defense mechanisms.
Who You Really Are
The point here is that the aliveness and happiness IS WHO YOU
REALLY ARE, which is what you will experience without your
defense mechanisms. You can do this at any time, for as long
as you like, as often as you like!
Your defense mechanisms are based in fear,
obviously. That is the nature of defense mechanisms. Therefore
basing your life on defense mechanisms will give you a fear
based experience. Fear is unpleasant, thus you will get an
unpleasant life experience. It is as simple as that.
Let the defense mechanisms go, and you revert
to your basic nature, who and what you really are: Totally
alive, loving and happy.
So, what you can take with you from this text
on how to be happy is this:
To experience being totally alive and happy
all you have to do is STOP defending yourself.
How You Try to Defend
Do I have to explain to you the
countless ways in which you defend yourself? Probably not, you
already know this:
You try to be a nice person. You try to be
responsible, or mature, or spiritually developed. You try to
be like other people ... or not be like other people. You try
to be perfect, or helpful, or successful, or special, or
knowledgeable, or foresightfully prepared, or entertaining, or
in control, or calm, or something else.
You try to live up to the expectations of other
people, and perhaps most of all you try to live up to your own
You don't want to be a 'bad' person. You don't
want to be irresponsible, immature, or too different from
others, or much like others, etc., etc.
You try so hard. All this trying is based in
fear. You try to avoid unpleasantness in any way you can.
Maybe you even try to feel alive and be happy. But is it
working? Honestly, is it working? No.
Trying Keeps You from Having
You have tried for years and years, and if you do not change
something, you are going to keep trying till you physically
die. But most likely you are only going to get your feeling of
aliveness and happiness briefly and by accident.
You believe you need to BE something and DO
something to get aliveness and happiness, and you believe that
you need to DEFEND yourself and your choices, when in fact it
is just the other way around:
Your belief, your defense mechanisms and all
your trying are the primary things keeping you away from the
experience you want!
So, how to be happy?
You have to DROP your belief. You have to STOP
trying. You have to STOP defending yourself. You have to just
LET GO and EXIST just as you already are and always have been,
And, like I said: You can do this any time, for
any length of time, as often as you like. Please, do read
Go and the Let Go Method
this website, and even better, you might want to read the book
about Letting Go:
• Finding Inner Peace by Letting Go
- 10 Steps to Happiness, Freedom, Love & More Using the Let Go Method
(Ebook for Download)
A good quote can say so much in so little space. I am
currently hand picking three collections of happiness quotes
for you. Relatively soon they will be presented on pages
called Happiness Quotes [LINK], and More Quotes on Happiness
[LINK] and Even More Quotes about Happiness [LINK].
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How to Be Happy Without Trying - How to Find Happiness (Authentic Happiness)
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Peace Love Happiness
Definition of Happiness
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Finding Inner Peace by Letting Go
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