A story from my own youth shows how we're all inventing reality
It's so easy to do, and we're all doing it all the time
interesting questions arise from this, for instance:
- will we invent our
reality unconsciously - or consciously?
- can we invent other people's
reality as well?
- what happens if we STOP inventing our reality all
This page is an entry in "Soren's
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spiritual growth. This blog incorporates inspirational motivational quotes,
short funny jokes, funny questions that make you think and more!
Reality: 'Make It So!
The inspirational thought for the
day is this: We're all busily inventing reality - whether we
know it or not. The very simple means by which we do so is:
Decision. Consciously or unconsciously we decide what is going
to be our reality and then we 'make it so' as Captain Picard
(played by Patrick Stewart) in the TV-series 'Star Trek: The
Next Generation' so often said.
If we go about
inventing reality unconsciously it can be a terribly trying
experience - particularly if our subconscious is full of
limiting and self depreciating beliefs (e.g.
low self esteem
In some cases though, it's just the other way around. To show
you what I'm talking about I'll share with you a story from my
The Rich Guy Clique of My Youth
Danish society in general is characterized by a large amount
of equality. Both equality between the sexes and between rich
and poor. (Relatively speaking, that is, compared to much of
the rest of the world).
Many years ago, at the Danish
equivalent of high school, I was surprised to find some young
men (there weren't any girls in that particular group) who
considered themselves very 'cool' and 'smart' and 'dapper' and
'clever' and 'in'.
These guys would wear expensive
clothes, in fact usually overdressing compared to everybody
else. Oftentimes they would wear suits and ties when the rest
of us were quite casually dressed. Also, they would poke fun
(or what THEY considered fun) at other people, usually by
putting other people down. Obviously they considered this
behaviour 'cool' and 'clever'. So, by behaving like this they
thought they became 'smart'.
After watching them for a while I wondered why they
thought so. Because in truth they weren't much cleverer than
the rest of us. In fact, their abilities at school - and
hence: their grades - were somewhat lousier than, say, those
of my best friend and myself.
By now you're probably
not surprised to hear that these guys had parents who were
relatively richer than the parents of most of the other young
people, including mine.
Different Beliefs Create Different Realities
... try as I
might I couldn't see the relevance of how much money their
Today, I can see that this was because in
my family having money wasn't a value in and of itself. Having
a lot of money - or not - simply wasn't important. It didn't
Consequently, to me the importance they placed
on being kids of rich parents and having expensive clothes was
completely wasted on me - it made no sense what so ever to me.
Hence, I ignored it.
I also proceeded to ignore what I
considered the silly parts of their behavior (the pretending,
the attitudes, etc.) and simply treated them like everybody
In fact, to tell you the truth, my feeling at the
time was that these guys were very insecure - an assessment
which was probably quite accurate.
The 'funny' thing
was, that while they would tease and look down upon a lot of
the other folks at school they NEVER did so with me. Ever. And
I assure you: My parents weren't rich and I wasn't the 'cool',
well dressed type. I didn't pay much attention to my clothes
at all, and I'm sure I fell far short of their 'standards'.
Apparently that didn't matter.
Why, one wonders, was
The Personal Development Guy: Background
To answer that I need to give you a bit more
background info on me.
In my family having money wasn't
a value, but being intelligent was. Great store was put on
being intelligent. And being friendly and socially adept was
also pretty high on the list.
It was no surprise, then,
that I did everything I could to be intelligent (and socially
adept). It worked pretty well, too.
Without making much
effort I got extremely good grades in school, including high
school. Since these 'in' guys were into being smart and
clever, I'm sure they were somewhat impressed.
reckon that that's the most important reason why they treated
me nicely, though.
conclusion today is this: They treated me nicely because I was
being myself and I treated them as the equals they were.
In other words, I didn't buy into their version of a
'reality' where they were better than other people.
I didn't fight it either.
I simply ignored their
version of reality (because, as mentioned, it simply made no
sense to me) and stuck to my own version of 'reality' where we
were equals on friendly terms. This worked.
When Inventing Reality No Fighting Is Necessary
Why did it
work? Several reasons, I guess.
First off, being
clever/smart/intelligent was one of their values, and I seemed
to have more of that than they did. They could se this every
day in school when I learned things quicker than they did and
knew lots of things they didn't.
(That doesn't mean
that its true that I was more intelligent than them, of
course, it simply meant that I had been brought up to believe
even more in the value of intelligence than they had, and I
Secondly, they knew damn well
that they were insecure, and that their posing was just that:
posing. In order for things like posing and putting other
people down to work, it is required that other people play
along. Some folks did. I didn't.
Also - and this is
important - I didn't fight them, put them down or question
their reality. I simply IGNORED their slightly nasty reality
and ASSUMED them to be equals and ACTED (treated them)
accordingly. Because, hey, that was MY reality.
way to put all the above things is this: my version of
'reality' ('we're equals') was a bit closer to absolute
reality [LINK] than their version of 'reality' ('everybody
else is inferior'). Absolute reality doesn't 'trump' relative
reality as such, it simply feels more real and true - and
that's because it IS more real and true.
And thus we
come to the conclusion(s) of this personal, inspirational
Inventing Reality: The First Conclusion
The first interesting conclusion is this: For someone to
put you down, you have to allow it to happen. You have to
accept their version of 'reality'.
If you don't - if
you stick to what feels right for you - nobody can really
touch you. Like a famous U.S. first lady once said:
one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
So, while we ARE in fact
continually inventing reality for the people around us, our
ability to do so is almost entirely dependent on their
willingness to let us do so.
Another way to put that
is: No leader can lead people who refuse to be lead.
Inventing Reality: The Second Conclusion
person is always pretending to be better than others, and
continually putting other people down, then that person is
surely trying to cover up feelings of great insecurity and
There is no reason why you should let that
affect YOU in any way. To use another motivational quote by
Mrs. Roosevelt:Never allow a person to tell you no who
doesn't have the power to say yes.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
The above motivational quote is surprisingly deep. Sure,
it's important to be able to say 'no' (setting boundaries).
But simply being negative and saying no is a closed off
/contracted condition and a very weak position. There is MUCH
more power in being positive, accepting and saying yes.
Since most of us are inventing reality on a daily basis,
there is much to be said for you inventing reality on the
basis of positive acceptance.
Reality: The Third Conclusion
By now some people will be
wondering if it's possible to STOP inventing reality - and
what happens if you do.
The short answer to that is
Yes, you can stop inventing reality. If you do
that, you open your eyes to absolute reality [LINK].
Experientially this is a very nice thing indeed to do. As you
can read on the pages
(where you can
also read about how to do it) you'll feel things like deep
inner peace, unconditional love and great joy.
Inventing Reality: The Final Conclusion
we're at the Eleanor Roosevelt quotes, Mrs. Roosevelt said:
Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be
criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if
~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~
... so why not
just follow your heart?
Personally, though, I wouldn't
call it 'damned' either way, since you don't have to let other
people who are busy inventing reality on your behalf have any
say what so ever. You can do your own inventing. Or, you can
let it go entirely and just BE!
Let me end this blog
post with president joke - or at least a joke-like anecdote:
President Calvin Coolidge once invited friends from his
hometown to dine at the White House. Worried about their table
manners, the guests decided to do everything that Coolidge
This strategy succeeded, until coffee was served.
The president poured his coffee into the saucer. The guests
did the same. Coolidge added sugar and cream. His guests did,
Then Coolidge bent over and put his saucer on the
floor for the cat.
~ Inspirational Story
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