• If you're looking for a new love here are 3 steps to follow.
steps are presented with a smile ...
• ... & sprinkled with inspirational
quotations & motivational phrases.
• This page is an entry in "Soren's
Blog: Inspirational Thoughts" - a blog aimed at your personal development &
spiritual growth. This blog incorporates inspirational motivational quotes,
empowerment theory, random funny facts, motivational phrases, short funny jokes,
funny questions that make you think and more!
So You are Looking for a New Love?
Are you between girlfriends or
boyfriends right now? Between lovers? Don't have a partner?
If you're looking for a new love I'd like to give you a
couple of motivational, inspirational thoughts. I've got lots
of them (as is witnessed by the pages
Relationship Problem Advice
), but in this article I'll just
present you with three.
This Means Doing Something New
Notice the word 'new'. New means
'not as usual'. It means that it's a good idea to do something
you don't usually do.
Killing off the Old
Yes, you have a routine. We all do.
We have lots of
habits, and old habits die hard. However, if you're looking
for a new love and you haven't yet found him or her, it means
that your regular habits, haunts and actions aren't doing what
you want them to do. You need to do something new.
high and go skydiving to meet new people. Aim low and go scuba
diving to meet new people. Or aim for a new rhythm and join a
dance club where they dance tango, samba, hip hop or something
else you haven't tried before.Habit is either the best
of servants or the worst of masters.
~ Nathaniel Emmons
First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad
habits or they will conquer you.
~ Rob Gilbert ~
You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought,
'I release the need for this in my life'.
~ Wayne Dyer
Go for What You Love
In fact, why not make
that 'new thing' something you would like to try - or even
love to try?
I'm sure there's something. Something
you've been wanting to try for years; or something you wanted
to try years ago but somehow almost forgot about. Think. Think
back. Dust off the old dreams and ideas.
Go for the
feeling of excitement, and if you can't find that, go for the
thing that piques your interest.
If you can't even find
that, just ask the people who know you for inspirational
thoughts about what new things they think would be great for
you. I bet you they've got some ideas.
includes taking risks with myself, taking risks on new
behaviour, trying new ways of 'being myself', so that I can
see how it is I want to be.
~ Hugh Prather
The 3 Most Important Things
Just remember: Regarding
this first love tip only three things really matter:
you're doing something new,
b) that you're meeting new people
c) that you're enjoying it.
There's no reason in the world
why looking for a new love shouldn't be joyful and fun.
Put a grain of boldness into everything you do.
Feeling daunted, scared at the
prospect of looking for a new love by doing new things and
meeting new people? Of course you are. We all resent change,
we're all worried about not fitting in, we're all afraid of
not being good enough, etc. But you can do it. You can:
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
(inspirational quote, and also the title of her book)
Relax and Give
You want to make a good
impression, right? So when looking for a new love you pretend
a bit (or a lot) and you try to control the situation. You try
to make plans and work out strategies.
I'm sorry to say
that it doesn't work. Life - which includes other people -
cannot be controlled. It's inherently unpredictable.
Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
~ Allen Saunders
~ (later attributed to John Lennon, Lily
Tomlin et al.)
If life wasn't like that, if we could
truly control it - and control other people - we'd soon be
bored out of our skulls.
What follows are some
inspirational thoughts as to why pretending, controlling and
strategizing do not work - and what to do instead.
is a wonder, a mystery. You can't control it, so just relax
and enjoy living it.
~ Soren Lauritzen
We're social animals, so of course we adapt ourselves
to each other to some degree. But if you're looking for a new
love, that's where it has to end. Do NOT pretend. Do not try
to control. Forget about plans and strategies.br>
Remember, the simple cause and effect:
Whatsoever a man
soweth, that shall he also reap.
The thing is, you're looking for a new LOVE here, not just
someone to bang in a drunken stupor on a Saturday night! :-)
Pretend to be someone or something you're not and those
with whom you might have built a great, honest love
relationship will instinctively avoid you. What you're left
with are those who pretend just like you do.
that, right? Want love! So ... give love!
you have not given away will ever be really yours.
Complete possession is proved only by giving.
All you are unable to give possesses you.
~ Andre Gide
'The Law of Attraction'
This approach - which
really works - has been called by many names, the most popular
new one is 'The Law of Attraction'. In fact it's just a fancy
name for the great simplicity and magic of life:br>By
giving to someone else that which you want for yourself you're
proving to life, and more importantly to yourself, that you
already have it. If you didn't, you wouldn't be able to give
it away, now, would you?
Be Yourself in Your
Most Loving Version
A famous American professor of
medicine used an old Confucius quote for the title of one of
Wherever You Go, There You Are
~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
Like many zen sayings this apparently self
evident statement has several inherent meanings, one of which
is that you always are where you are, so you might as well be
present. Another inherent meaning is the fact that whether you
want to or not, you're destined to live with yourself for the
rest of your life - you can't run from yourself.
Conclusion: Be here now, and just be yourself.
Being Loving Is Simple
'Just be yourself' is an easy piece
of advice to give, but in reality most people find it quite
hard to follow.
I don't, however, mean 'be just any
version of yourself', I mean 'be the most loving version of
yourself you can'. This actually makes it easier, not harder.
Love is simple enough - it's all about being who you
really are, for you are unconditional love, and so is
everybody else. Trouble only arises when we forget that. When
we remember it again, and act accordingly, trouble simply
dissipates as if it were never there - which in fact it
~ Soren Lauritzen
To carry this piece of advice out in practice, just ask
your heart: 'What would unconditional love do in this
situation?' Then notice the very first thing that springs to
mind. Don't 'overthink' it, just listen to the very first
impulse your heart gives you. It takes less than a second.
Find that Loving Feeling
If you're in doubt about
how to start giving love just think back to one of the times
you've been in love.
Yes, I know you're not in love,
but looking for a new love, but just remember how what it was
like to be in love - how you thought and acted towards your
That's the kind of thoughts and behaviour
towards new people you're looking for here. ALL the new people
you meet. It works wonders. Truly.
Some people have never been in love, and perhaps
you're one of them. No problem. Simply think in terms of love,
spaciousness and acceptance - and act accordingly. If you
totally accepted these new people, if you had lots of room for
them in your heart, if you loved them without reservation ...
what would you do, how would you behave? Let the answer be
Using a Role Model
even think about a role model.
Most people know (or
have known) a person who is exceptionally open minded,
accepting and loving. Perhaps it's one of your grandparents,
perhaps it's another family member, or a teacher, a guru, a
coach, a famous person or one of your friends.
how this person would have acted and act the same way.
Nothing is so infectious as example.
~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Example is not the main thing in
influencing others. It is the only thing.
~Maximize your use of role models like
this: People you consider great have made great mistakes AND
had great success. Learn from both. People you consider small
have made different mistakes AND had success in a different
way. Learn from both.
~ Soren Lauritzen
A New Beginning
Remember, if you've followed advice no. 1, you're out there
meeting new people. This is a new chance for you, because new
people don't know the old you. So let the new you be more
accepting and loving.
And if it turns out (as well it
might) that you like this new version of yourself better than
the old one, well, then you can simply make the switch to the
new you in your old life as well. Whether you make that switch
quickly or more slowly and imperceptibly, is entirely up to
To sum it up ... if
you're looking for a new love, three excellent steps might be:
1. Ditch the old habits and do something new so you meet
2. Stop pretending and trying to control - just
relax and give love to others.
3. Choose to be the most loving
version of yourself that you can.
When you're looking
for a new love these three steps are really helpful. They're
an important part of finding true love. If you find it a
little too daunting to try all of them, why not try just one?
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