Friendship is one of the most important elements of your life, so the answer to
the question of what makes a good friend is something that we should all be
Although many people tend to say that they have lots of friends, the
truth of the matter is that friendship can be divided into many
levels, with the first and most remote of friendships being
categorized as acquaintances, and the ultimate closest friendships
falling into the "best friends" category.
In truth, when it comes down to hard fact, most of us can count our
true best friends on the fingers of one hand. But what makes a good
friend and why?
Some people tend to think that friendship is
all about having a good time, and that those they enjoy sharing
those good, fun times with, are good friends. Of course that is true
up to a point; for example you wouldn't expect to be having a
miserable time when you are amongst friends; but having real, good
friends, operates on a much deeper and more meaningful level.
A good friend is actually someone you know that you can rely on
when the chips are down. There is an expression that we sometimes
use to categorize the people who hang around for the good times only.
These we call "fair-weather friends." What we mean by this is that
as soon as the going gets a little bit serious, or even rough, they
are nowhere to be found. What makes a good friend, is a person who
sticks around when the going is not so good, and who is there to
help and advise you when you need them.
There is a simple
saying that I am sure you will have heard before, and it is that "a
trouble shared, is a trouble halved." This is a profound truth, and
being able and willing to do this for someone is what makes a good
friend become a true friend indeed.
It really all comes down to caring enough about someone, to put
their welfare above all else. The typical fair-weather friend is the
sort of person who will just agree with whatever you say or do. They
feel that it's just too much hassle, and that it may even cause some
unpleasantness to tell when you are in the wrong, or that you are
about to do something that they don't think you should. But what
sort of a friend will just stand by mouthing platitudes, whilst
watching you get into trouble. I'll tell the answer - no sort of
friend would, and certainly not a good friend. No, - one of the
fundamentals of what makes a good friend is integrity and a
commitment to making sure your welfare is their welfare too.
For some people, their partners are also their best friends, and
this makes for a wonderful relationship. If you are lucky enough to
be in this position, then your "soul mate", covers all of the roles
anyone could ever want, from partner, and companion, through to
friend and lover too.
But having good friends outside of your
relationship with your partner, is an extra blessing. It's always
good to widen your horizons and get new input from a different point
of view, and this is another thing to add to your list of what makes
a good friend - honest advice and a genuine opinion offered in good
Good friends are
really hard to come by, and when you find someone, the relationship
should be treasured and nurtured. As a rule of thumb, women make
easier good friends amongst themselves than men do. This is because
they are not afraid to talk to each other about anything and
everything. Men often seem to hold back about certain personal
issues, and all too often there is a rivalry, albeit a friendly one,
and there is often that little undercurrent that threatens to boil
up into full blown confrontation.
But in the final reckoning,
it is this ability to open yourself up to each other without any
fear of competition or resentment that truly makes a good friend who
is worth their weight in gold.
We often talk about the
difference between friends and family. Yes there is always the blood
tie with your relations, but it is very true what is said; that is
that you are landed with your relatives for good or for bad, but you
get to choose your friends. Just make sure you make the right
choices, and your life will be all the richer.
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