How Humor and Sex Works Together

If you can't have fun while having sex, when can you have fun?

No, seriously, I mean that. Good sex is playful sex. You try out new things, you smile, laugh and enjoy and generally have a great time. That's definitely one of the things sex is for.

But that's just my opinion. And my experience.

If having fun during sex sounds alien or inappropriate or scary to you, you either shouldn't be reading this text or you should definitely be reading it! :-)

Humor and sex often go together in the world of dirty jokes or comedy movies. But is it appropriate to mix humor 'n' sex in the bedroom?

Actually, you may be surprised at the answer. For it actually is healthy for humor and sex to be entwined while you're entwined with your lover.

Speaking of humor 'n' sex, Lord Chesterfield once quipped
"The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable."

Sex: Fun or No Fun?

Maybe you could begin by asking yourself this chain of questions (a tiny humor and sex quiz):

On a scale from 0 to 10 (where 10 is 'every time'): How often do you laugh because you're having fun during sex?

If your answer is between 5 and 10: Congratulations! That part of your sex life seems to be working out just fine. I have no comments for you.

If your answer is between 0 and 4: Try asking yourself this: Why do I seldom laugh during sex?

If your answer is something like: 'Sex is an awful, dirty, disgusting and unnatural act (that you should save for someone you love!)' - well, then I don't really have any comments for you, either.
Except perhaps: Have you ever considered checking out your beliefs to see if they're limiting your life experience?

If your answer is something like: 'Actually, sex doesn't interest me much, and on the whole I would rather be doing the dishes' - then you're either not doing it right and will probably benefit from reading this and other texts on this website or you REALLY love doing the dishes.

If your answer is something like: 'Humor and sex can be related? Sex can be fun? I never thought of it like that' - then this text is definitely for you.

If your answer is something like: 'Actually, I'd like to laugh and have fun, but I'm not very used to having sex and I'm feeling a bit shy and insecure' - then this text is definitely for you, too.
Have you ever wondered why sex is supposed to be a private affair? Why sex is pornographic-meaning inappropriate for viewing"?

One very big reason for this is the intersection between humor and sex. The positions we put ourselves in ... the faces we make ... the noises we make ... while they give or express unbearable pleasure, they are quite often just silly to look at (if you are not participating).

Another point about humor 'n' sex: they quite often emerge together even when we don't intend or desire for them to do so. Humor and sex often result from embarrassments in the bedroom.

Therefore, when we can deliberately put humor and sex together in artfully comedic ways, we can relieve a lot of tension, anxiety, and apprehension.

Humor 'n' Sex Embarrassments

Alright, what sorts of embarrassing or potentially embarrassing situations can deliberate humor and sex pairing alleviate?

*Your lover is a sloppy kisser. (Or you are.)

*You have a kinky fetish that you're not certain your lover is wild about. (Or the other way around.)

*One of you likes anal stimulation but the other person doesn't care for it.

*One of you makes rather unusual noises of passionate love during intercourse.

*Less-than-average sized penis.


*Accidentally passing gas during lovemaking.

*Less than pleasant bodily odor.

*Klutziness while having sex (falling out of bed, falling off the kitchen counter, falling out of the chair, bumping your head on the wall or ceiling, etc).

*One of you, but only one of you, is bisexual.

*Woman choking while giving oral sex.

*Man not liking the taste of his woman's vagina while giving her oral sex.

*One of you gets rougher than the other expects or prefers.

*One of you wants to have sex together in front of someone else or have a threesome but the other one of you is not crazy about the idea.

There are probably other instances of sexual misadventure that you can think of that would be quite embarrassing or even humiliating if taken too seriously. When you love someone enough that you want to overlook that person's imperfections and have sex with that person, you may find that humor 'n' sex is the perfect mixture to get past a potential bedroom problem that would drive a wedge between the two of you.

Humor and Sex Can Overcome Negative Conditioning

Many people are brought up to believe that sex is filthy.

Well, as someone once said, the only time sex is filthy is "when it's done right". (You see? There's some humor and sex right there.)

But of course I'm trying to say that many people are brought up to believe that sex is just a necessary evil, something pleasurable but "sinful" that we human beings are hard wired to want because it leads to procreation.

Oh, That Devilish Sex

Sex is of the Devil and the most spiritually developed human beings never have sex in the minds of many people. I've even read at least one person opine that Earth is really Hell and sex is the evil thing that keeps our souls imprisoned in this "hell"! (This blockhead even wrote a book about this notion.)

Humor and sex when put together can help to overcome this puritanical and otherwise totally ridiculous ideas and attitudes about sex.

Beliefs that sex is evil, "sinful", or something so utterly dirty that it's no good except for making babies are unhealthy. But religious upbringing or other forms of conditioning are very powerful forces.
Humor 'n' sex can be brought together to get conditioned people to lighten up.

When we use humor and sex together to lighten up our attitudes about sex, we truly benefit all concerned. We may use humor and sex to overcome one of our own sexual hangups or bits of misinformation, or we may use humor and sex together to help our lovers move past a mental obstacle that is hindering our intimacy, wrecking our romance, putting a pall upon our pleasure.

If you have ever experienced being deeply in love with someone with whom you have most things in common but who has negative beliefs about sex that prevent you from being able to get together intimately, you know the pain that you went through.
What if you had been able to use humor and sex together - (in this case, that would mean joking about sex, not being funny in the bedroom) - to get your beloved to see what you could have together? Things would have been far different for you.

Yes, humor and sex can be performed simultaneously, too. It doesn't have to just be witticisms or dirty jokes.
Say something cleverly, sexually funny while you're in the heat of intercourse. This can deepen the wholeness of the sexual experience and even prolong intercourse as the laughter pleasurably disrupts the other pleasure.

Laughter and sex are two of of our favorite and healthiest experiences. Why shouldn't humor and sex be intertwined?

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