If you can't have fun while having sex, when can you have fun?
seriously, I mean that. Good sex is playful sex. You try out new
things, you smile, laugh and enjoy and generally have a great time.
That's definitely one of the things sex is for.
just my opinion. And my experience.
If having fun during sex
sounds alien or inappropriate or scary to you, you either shouldn't
be reading this text or you should definitely be reading it! :-)
Humor and sex
often go together in the world of dirty jokes or comedy movies. But is it
appropriate to mix humor 'n' sex in the bedroom?
Actually, you may be surprised
at the answer. For it actually is healthy for humor and sex to be entwined while
you're entwined with your lover.
Speaking of humor 'n' sex, Lord
Chesterfield once quipped "The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous,
and the expense damnable."
Sex: Fun or No Fun?
Maybe you could begin by asking yourself this chain of questions (a
tiny humor and sex quiz):
On a scale from 0 to 10 (where 10
is 'every time'): How often do you laugh because you're having fun
If your answer is between 5 and 10:
Congratulations! That part of your sex life seems to be working out
just fine. I have no comments for you.
If your answer is
between 0 and 4: Try asking yourself this: Why do I seldom laugh
If your answer is something like: 'Sex is an
awful, dirty, disgusting and unnatural act (that you should save for
someone you love!)' - well, then I don't really have any comments
for you, either.
Except perhaps: Have you ever considered
checking out your beliefs to see if they're limiting your life
If your answer is something like: 'Actually, sex
doesn't interest me much, and on the whole I would rather be doing
the dishes' - then you're either not doing it right and will
probably benefit from reading this and other texts on this website
or you REALLY love doing the dishes.
If your answer is
something like: 'Humor and sex can be related? Sex can be fun? I
never thought of it like that' - then this text is definitely for
If your answer is something like: 'Actually, I'd like to
laugh and have fun, but I'm not very used to having sex and I'm
feeling a bit shy and insecure' - then this text is definitely for
Have you ever wondered why sex is supposed to be a
private affair? Why sex is pornographic-meaning inappropriate for viewing"?
One very big reason for this is the intersection between humor and sex. The
positions we put ourselves in ... the faces we make ... the noises we make ...
while they give or express unbearable pleasure, they are quite often just silly
to look at (if you are not participating).
Another point about humor 'n'
sex: they quite often emerge together even when we don't intend or desire for
them to do so. Humor and sex often result from embarrassments in the bedroom.
Therefore, when we can deliberately put humor and sex together in artfully
comedic ways, we can relieve a lot of tension, anxiety, and apprehension.
Humor 'n' Sex Embarrassments
Alright, what sorts of embarrassing or
potentially embarrassing situations can deliberate humor and sex pairing
*Your lover is a sloppy kisser. (Or you are.)
a kinky fetish that you're not certain your lover is wild about. (Or the other
*One of you likes anal stimulation but the other person
doesn't care for it.
*One of you makes rather unusual noises of
passionate love during intercourse.
*Less-than-average sized penis.
*Accidentally passing gas during lovemaking.
than pleasant bodily odor.
*Klutziness while having sex (falling out of
bed, falling off the kitchen counter, falling out of the chair, bumping your
head on the wall or ceiling, etc).
*One of you, but only one of you, is
*Woman choking while giving oral sex.
*Man not liking
the taste of his woman's vagina while giving her oral sex.
*One of you
gets rougher than the other expects or prefers.
*One of you wants to have
sex together in front of someone else or have a threesome but the other one of
you is not crazy about the idea.
There are probably other instances of
sexual misadventure that you can think of that would be quite embarrassing or
even humiliating if taken too seriously. When you love someone enough that you
want to overlook that person's imperfections and have sex with that person, you
may find that humor 'n' sex is the perfect mixture to get past a potential
bedroom problem that would drive a wedge between the two of you.
and Sex Can Overcome Negative Conditioning
Many people are brought up to
believe that sex is filthy.
Well, as someone once said, the only time sex is
filthy is "when it's done right". (You see? There's some humor and sex right
But of course I'm trying to say that many people are brought up to
believe that sex is just a necessary evil, something pleasurable but "sinful"
that we human beings are hard wired to want because it leads to procreation.
Oh, That Devilish Sex
Sex is of the Devil and the most spiritually
developed human beings never have sex in the minds of many people. I've even
read at least one person opine that Earth is really Hell and sex is the evil
thing that keeps our souls imprisoned in this "hell"! (This blockhead even wrote
a book about this notion.)
Humor and sex when put together can help to
overcome this puritanical and otherwise totally ridiculous ideas and attitudes
Beliefs that sex is evil, "sinful", or something so utterly dirty
that it's no good except for making babies are unhealthy. But religious
upbringing or other forms of conditioning are very powerful forces.
sex can be brought together to get conditioned people to lighten up.
we use humor and sex together to lighten up our attitudes about sex, we truly
benefit all concerned. We may use humor and sex to overcome one of our own
sexual hangups or bits of misinformation, or we may use humor and sex together
to help our lovers move past a mental obstacle that is hindering our intimacy,
wrecking our romance, putting a pall upon our pleasure.
If you have ever
experienced being deeply in love with someone with whom you have most things in
common but who has negative beliefs about sex that prevent you from being able
to get together intimately, you know the pain that you went through.
What if you
had been able to use humor and sex together - (in this case, that would mean joking
about sex, not being funny in the bedroom) - to get your beloved to see what you
could have together? Things would have been far different for you.
humor and sex can be performed simultaneously, too. It doesn't have to just be
witticisms or dirty jokes.
Say something cleverly, sexually funny while you're
in the heat of intercourse. This can deepen the wholeness of the sexual
experience and even prolong intercourse as the laughter pleasurably disrupts the
Laughter and sex are two of of
our favorite and healthiest experiences. Why shouldn't humor and sex be
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