For women, but men can look, too ...
Not satisfied with your
Considering vaginal plastic surgery
to get 'the perfect vagina'?
Get some self improvement tips on
'designer vaginas' ...
... and a guy's very honest perspective
on vaginaplasty and labioplasty (labial surgery / female genital cosmetic
Get Ready for
Vaginal Self Improvement Tips!
This is one of those
self improvement articles that may disturb some folks. It is about vaginas.
Specifically it concerns vaginal plastic surgery to get the perfect vagina. It
has come to my attention that some women desire that. They want to be the proud
owner of The Perfect Pussy, or as colloquial speech would have it, The Perfect
This article falls under a Self Improvement Tips heading, more or less,
so we'll be examining certain aspects to do with the 'why' of female genital
cosmetic surgery and, of course, investigating what is perhaps the most
interesting question here: In the light of personal development is this practice
(cosmetic vagina plastic surgery) a good idea or not?
Vaginal Plastic Surgery and
the Perfect Vagina: Why?
So. WHY do women want vaginal plastic surgery of the
Apart from the (very) few cases where a
woman has labia (pussy lips) so big that they actually,
physically get in the way and hurt when they, say, ride a
horse or a bicycle, there are two main reasons, I think: the
women's self concept and their concept of men.
Being a personal development coach I know a thing or two about
And being a man, and one who is not
just a coach but one who also has some surprisingly honest
male friends, I know a lot about what goes on inside a man. I
even have a page coming up that I call Understanding Men [LINK
So, then. Some women - perhaps even you
included - would like to have 'the perfect vagina'. And some
of those women (again, that may or may not include you) are
actually willing to go through expensive and unpleasant
vaginal plastic surgery to get something that may or may not
One wonders why these women would subject
their most tender body parts to such scalpel-based treatment?
As is often the case the most likely answer is also the
simplest one. Well, apart from something very important to do
with women's insecurities and their self concept (which we'll
get to) my guess about the 'why?' of vaginal plastic surgery
would be this: Men.
Womens Self Concept: Vaginal
It is almost, but (evidently) not quite
needless to say that when a woman goes looking for cosmetic
vaginal plastic surgery for non-medical reasons the most basic
and most important reason has to do with how she sees herself,
Many women have a truckload of insecurities,
one of which has to do with their genitalia. (Yep, a number of
men have those, too, but theirs tend to be more
one-dimensional - mostly its a question of size: Is my Willy
big enough?). With women the insecurities appear to be more
complex. Some want to be bigger here and smaller there and
for some it is the other way around, but the reasons remain
They are not satisfied. They think what they have
is not what they SHOULD have. They are at odds with reality
which is never a nice thing to be - and something for which
there is only one really effective cure: To get OUT OF (let go
and get INTO
something that can also be described with a few simple words
that we all understand: Unconditional acceptance of what is.
If you accept what is (including the way your lady flower
looks) the need for cosmetic vaginal plastic surgery (and any
other kind of cosmetic surgery as well) disappears. And here
are a few other nice things about that: You can do it all by
yourself, it doesn't hurt, and it costs nothing.
Women's Concept of Men's Concept of Women (Confused?)
This interesting headline points to a kind of 'disease' that
runs rampant in most of today's modern societies: Trying to
look and be the way you THINK and IMAGINE other people want
you to look and be - a.k.a. not being inside yourself but
attempting to be inside other people instead.
The basis for
this is usually a desperate perceived need [link upcoming] to
'fit in'. In other words, we're back to feeling accepted - or
not. The same solution, of course, applies: Accept yourself
first and then others will automatically accept you - just the
way you are.
But, as with so many other things we go
about it all backwards. We attempt to get other people to
accept us first, and then we think that we will accept
ourselves if only they do. In this backwards and doomed
project we invariably try to second guess other people: 'what
and how must I be in order to be accepted?'
So. What in
women's concept of men can motivate a woman to want to go for
designer vaginas? Well, that, of course, is all about how
women think that men see them. A pussy that looks like 'this'
is supposed to be 'pretty' and a pussy that looks like 'that'
is supposed to be 'not pretty'. At least that is what many
women think that men think. And those women - they couldn't be
Who Am I to Talk? Just Another Vagina
Expert ... :-)
I am a man myself and I know quite a bit
about how I and other men think. Okay, I don't have a vagina
myself. (Though I do think it would be great if I did - as
long as it didn't preclude me having my current male equipment
as well). So, I may not have my own vagina, but I sure
appreciate other people's vaginas. They, and more specifically
the women they are a part of, have given me such joy over the
Yes, I am a lover of women, and a vagina lover, too.
This makes me biased, I'm sure. It also makes me something of
an expert in the field. Both in the field of women (as far as
a man can be an expert in that (see for yourself at
) and in the field of women's private
parts. How about that - perhaps I should put it on my business
card ... I'll leave it up to your imagination what the text
Aaanyway, my claim is that loving something
is the best way to become an expert in it, whatever it is. As
you may know - or can at least see from the name of this
website - for me the BIG thing for years and years has been
personal development (and spirituality). But the fair sex and
sex in general (see e.g. the page
) are things
right up there at the top, too.
Vagina: Individual, Racial and Cultural Differences
any case the answer to why most of the women who go for female
genital cosmetic surgery do it is this: They are sure that
designer vaginas are prettier than what nature has blessed
them with. Very often because their inner pussy lips (inner
labia a.k.a. labia minora) stick out beyond their outer pussy
lips (outer labia a.k.a. labia majora).
Maybe what they
think is that it doesn't look 'neat and tidy' or even 'normal'
(whatever that is supposed to mean). Probably what they think
is that other people, most notably men, don't like that.
If you'll excuse my language, all of that is a load of
First off, it is important to note that inner
labia that protrude beyond the outer labia are very common and
totally normal in all races of women. Their lady flower is
SUPPOSED to look like that!
Three Kinds of
Naturally Perfect Vaginas
Some folks who make a living
from websites that display women's private parts have even
come up with a terminology that describes what they see as the
three different kinds of lady flower (as seen from the front
when the lady is standing up):
- The Puffy Peach (the inner
labia are completely hidden by the outer labia, producing a
closed-up effect that resembles the 'line' in a peach)
- The Tasty Taco (the inner labia are partly visible outside
the outer labia, producing a visual effect somewhat
reminiscent of a taco shell with tasty food inside it)
- The Charming Cherry (the inner labia protrude very visibly
beyond the outer labia, hanging down in a way that makes the
totality somewhat resemble a stalk & cherry)
just love the mental imagery? :-)
Apparently the Tasty
Taco is the most common one, making the other two types
particularly sought after by connoisseurs. (Most men, however,
like all three kinds. In fact, most men like whatever kind the
woman they are with happens to have!)
Also, there are
differences between the different human races. When it comes
to height, skin color and facial features we all know this,
but it is also true for the female genitals. No matter what
color your skin is the color of your female genitalia may vary
greatly, and this is even more true for their shape and size.
For example there are some ethnic groups in Africa (e.g. the
Khoisan, Khoekhoe, Sho, Barwa, Kung, Khwe, often collectively
called the San
) where it is close to universal that the labia minora produde approx. 4 cm (1.6 inches) beyond the outer
The Labia Size of Naturally Perfect Vaginas
According to acclaimed American obstetrician,
gynecologist, research scientist, maternal health educator and
Robert Latou Dickinson
(1861-1950) the 'normal' size
range of one American female labia minora (inner pussy lip) is
from 0+ cm / inches to 6+ cm (2 1/3+ inches) - equaling up to
12+ cm (4.7+ inches) from tip to tip for both labia minora
when spread open; and he has also reported a size of 7.5 cm (3
inches) - equaling a spread-open size up to 15 cm (5.9 inches)
from tip to tip.
This is without any kind of tension
applied. When 'moderate tension' was applied to the latter
lady bits they achieved a 'wing span' of 23 cm (9 inches) tip
(Note: If the approx. 3.000 women that Robert
L. Dickinson measured included African American women or not
Of course, as the mere existence of
vaginal plastic surgery to get 'the perfect vagina' reminds
us, not everybody is content with what nature has provided.
Both the men and the women of some African tribes (e.g. the
Venda tribe in southern Africa and the Benin tribe in western
Africa) find large labia very attractive (as do many Western
men) and the females of these tribes are not content with what
Nature has provided but do much to artificially
Therefore, apparently, among these
African tribes a hanging length of 15 cm (5.9 inches) of the
labia minora is not uncommon, and a hanging length of 17.8 cm
(7 inches) has been recorded - giving the ladies a whopping
no-tension tip-to-tip 'wing span' of 35.6 cm (14 inches) when
spread open. (This must be the reverse version of Western
vaginal plastic surgery).
In other words: As far as the
female flower is concerned there is PLENTY of room for
variation! So please know that no matter what your vagina
looks like, it looks fine!
Surgery to Look Pretty? Please Think Again
So, back to
vaginal plastic surgery to get the perfect vagina, also known
as producing designer vaginas, also known as cosmetic labial
surgery a.k.a. female genital cosmetic surgery a.k.a.
cosmetogynecology a.k.a. vaginoplasty a.k.a. vaginaplasty
a.k.a. labioplasty a.k.a. labiaplasty. Sometimes even called
vulvovaginal aesthetic surgery or just vaginal aesthetic
surgery for 'short'.
If you are reading this you may be one
of the growing number of women considering vaginal plastic
surgery. Here's my best piece of advice to you regarding that:
If your labia are so big they cause you pain every time
you sit down or ride a bicycle, or there is some other
physical/medical reason for you to want labioplasty - fine, go
ahead book your appointment, get your doctor's agreement, pay
the money and then get your vaginal plastic surgery.
BUT if you want vaginal plastic surgery (labial surgery) in
order to look pretty, don't go there. Please. Or at least
consider not going there. Or, at the very least, read what I
have to say here first.
Let me just give you three real
quick but very good reasons why you may want to reconsider
having vaginal plastic surgery.
Designer Vaginas: A Waste of Money, Time and Pain
it is highly likely that it is a waste of time, pain and
money (you'll easily be paying something like $3000 to $6000).
As for the bit about the pain, well, labioplasty just might
damage some very important nerves ... if you want, you can
check out this article at the Free Library:
Fear Over Designer
. You might also think about it like this: You probably
have a scar somewhere on your body - try testing how sensitive
to touch the scar is when compared to the area next to the
scar. Odds are the scar tissue is less sensitive than the
regular tissue. Do you really want scar tissue in your lady
Oh, and to see why I think you'd be wasting your
hard earned cash, please read on.Secondly
, the labioplasty is not likely to actually SOLVE anything for you -
for that you need to check and work on
your self concept
you see yourself,
what you identify with)
your self esteem
(your sense of self worth). If you can learn to relax your
, or even to some extent to stop identifying yourself with
it (i.e. stop believing that you are your ego and that your
ego is you), then odds are that you will make huge strides in
these areas and if you do ... you will find that this was what
you really needed in the first place, and vaginal plastic
surgery in an attempt to artificially create the perfect
vagina has nothing to do with, well, anything.Thirdly
you will be making a lot of guys like me quite sad. You may
think youre making the guys happy, but really, youre not.
Let me get deeper into this last reason and maybe, just maybe,
kill off some of the fear based ideas you have about how men
see you and your lady flower.
How Men See
Women - and Their Lovely Lady Parts
There are a lot of
guys out there who really like what nature has provided you
women with between your legs. Seriously. We do.
We like to
look at it, sniff it, play with it, kiss it, lick it and
generally have a wonderful time with it. Just the way it is.
And no, it doesn't matter how many children you have given
birth to vaginally, we still like what you've got. Why?
Because it is YOU.
And because we love life the way
Quite a lot of us even prefer to look at (and
play with) women who have given birth vaginally, because we
feel that the changes that may have occurred make the vagina
even more of a beautiful flower.
So whatever life has
seen fit to bless you with in terms of labia and the rest of
your reproductive equipment, we love it just the way it is.
That is the way love looks at you, you know.
doesn't want you to pay $5000 to make you look more boring
'down there'. Many of us men (the majority, I'm sure) really
like the fact that your pussy is unique - totally one of a
kind. It just makes us love it - and you - all the more.
And, seeing as how most men never really grow up, well, we
do like to have something to play with, too. Please don't let
some surgeon take away our toys! But that's secondary. The
MOST important thing of all is this:
The perfect vagina
... you already have it.
Just the way it is.
need for labioplasty, vaginaplasty, vaginal plastic surgery,
cosmetic labial surgery, female genital cosmetic surgery, a
designer vagina or what ever you want to call it. No need at
Vaginal Plastic Surgery - What You Really
What there MIGHT be a need of, however, is
acceptance. That is, a need for you to accept your lady parts.
Have you ever looked at them in a mirror? I mean REALLY looked
at them? For a long time - long enough for your self judgment
to wane a bit?
And, yes, maybe even looked at your vagina
in a mirror while you caressed it with a finger you've just
wet in your mouth, or a finger dipped in oil? Not for the sake
of masturbation (though that may turn out to be the end
result) but for the sake of acceptance and appreciation?
Do you APPRECIATE your pussy? Honestly? If you are seriously
thinking about putting it under the knife in vaginal plastic
surgery then I sincerely doubt it. So maybe that's a good
place to start. The two A's:
Acceptance and Appreciation.
In time you might even reach the third A, which is the
typical male reaction to the sight of your lady parts:
This is all about you and your relationship
with your own body. Or, perhaps, the relationship that you
don't have. If you really considered your labia to be an
integral part of yourself, would you want to cut them off?
Being a coach I have actually encountered and worked with
my share of women who were not satisfied with their face,
their hair, their breasts, their hips, their tummy, their
bottom or their private parts (yes, certainly, that too!).
When I have asked them why, they have invariably given me
the answer that they just want to look pretty. Or maybe they
just want to look 'normal', whatever that is, and they just
don't consider whatever part(s) of themselves they want put
under the knife 'normal' enough, or pretty enough.
why, then do they want to look more 'normal' or more 'pretty'?
Well, because of men. Very nearly all the (heterosexual) women
I have talked to who wanted some sort of cosmetic plastic
surgery really wanted to look normal or pretty because of men.
This includes the ones who want vaginal plastic surgery to
come closer to what they think is 'the perfect vagina'.
"Getting Rid of My Meat Curtains So My Lovers Will
Like Me Better"
Yep, I have even worked with women who
were embarrassed to take off their clothes in front of their
lovers because of the size of their labia - one even talked
about "getting rid of my meat curtains so my lovers will like
me better". Well, girls, I have got news for you:
accept, appreciate and admire your vagina. Just the way it is.
We really do!
Yes, yes, I know that not ALL men will
accept, appreciate and admire your pussy. But most will. Trust
me! Big or small labia, small or big clitoris, hair or no hair,
young or old, it doesn't matter: Most men ADORE the female
genitalia, just the way they are!
Why else do you think
men spend hours and hours (and hours!) online looking at them?
Some are even so fascinated they develop an internet porn
addiction [LINK upcoming]. But that's another matter.
The fact remains that we LOVE what you've got - no matter what
you've got. When it comes to the question 'designer vaginas or
not' that's one of the most important self improvement tips I
can give you.
Men Who Hurt Inside May Hurt You,
What I just said is true for the vast majority of
men. Then there are the minorities. I need to speak to you
about the few men who are not like that so that you may know a
bit about what you are dealing with should you ever come
across such a man.
The world being what it is, it stands to
reason that occasionally you will meet (or you have already
met) a man who is all closed up and twisted inside. He might
have been brought up to hate and despise a lot of things, or
to follow horrible and bodily mutilating practices, or he may
have been traumatized some other way. Either way, he may be
contracted, broken and hurting inside.
Such a man may
have a negative reaction to ... well, anything: music,
literature, opinions, skin color, the sight of a naked woman
or the sight of a naked woman's genitalia.
know this, but please allow me to remind you: One scared,
confused and hurting man's negative reaction is NOT because
you have the wrong skin color, or the wrong gender, or because
your lady parts are in any way wrong or ugly.
man is simply closed off from life itself, at least in some
areas, and feels terrible because of that. He is hurting, and
he may inadvertently (or deliberately) be hurting other people
around him. You too, perhaps. Do not make the mistake to think
that such a man is representative of all men everywhere.
Of course you will also find men who just a little bit
broken, traumatized and closed off. Men who seem pretty normal
in most ways but who have nevertheless been hurt; perhaps by
being fed all kinds of weird and more or less life denying
beliefs. There is no way to tell what strange beliefs may lurk
in other people, be they male or female, and such bizarre
beliefs may color their views and reactions in a life denying
fashion. Still, they remain the minority, by far.
Finally, there are the men who are simply not aware, not
really conscious (of themselves, or you or of life in
general). They are asleep, so to speak, even if they are
walking, talking, going to work ... and making love to you.
Now, most of these men will still have a positive reaction you
your lady parts, even in their 'sleep', and so they will not
want you to attempt vaginal plastic surgery to get 'the
perfect vagina'. They will simply react the way the vast
majority of men do and like what you've got, no matter what
However, some of the men who are not really
conscious of anything much, some of those guys who are truly 'heard
animals' will tend to follow the pattern of thinking 'average
To me, and probably to most other men,
average does not equal real beauty (it is more likely to equal
'dull'), and this ... 'does average = beauty?' thing is in
fact a fascinating subject I intend explore further soon [LINK
upcoming], perhaps directly under the heading Self Improvement
Tips, but for now let's just check out the concept really,
If you have ever given any real attention
to what most professional models actually look like, you will
have noticed this: They don't look like anything much. At the
risk of insulting some highly paid models they don't even look
like anyone much. They just don't have all that many
This, in fact, is why they can
work as models and earn a lot of money doing so: They look
Average = 'Pretty'?
not look 'average' in the way most people usually use the word,
but average in the true sense of the word: Nothing about a
highly paid model is really big; noting is really small;
nothing is REALLY noteworthy in any way at all. Everything is
in fact incredibly average.
Now, you may pull up a few
exceptions to this rule, of course. Michelle Pfeiffer, for
instance, who is today a highly paid actress, used to be a
highly paid model, and she DOES in fact have some
distinguishing features that are not average. But you know as
well as I do that Michelle is the exception rather than the
The rule is that to be 'pretty' or 'beautiful' a
woman must in fact be as truly average as possible. (It has
even been proven scientifically, but I'm not going to go into
Well, surprise, surprise, the same thing
goes for your lady parts. Vaginal plastic surgery to get you
'the perfect vagina' does not make your pussy 'prettier' or
'more beautiful' - vaginaplasty simply makes your lady parts
more AVERAGE. And average is BORING. If you ask me.
you don't believe me, you can check out a couple the websites
of plastic surgeons that display 'before' and 'after' pictures
of cosmetic labial surgery (labioplasty and vaginoplasty). For
example here's one (warning, real vaginas on display there):
cosmetic labial surgery photos
- and there's another vaginal
surgery gallery here: labiaplasty photos.
NO OFFENCE to
the women who paid for their surgery in pain and cash, but
when I look at all the 'before' vaginal plastic surgery photos
of vaginas I find that I like them. Every single one of them.
The majority of the 'after' labiaplasty photos, on the other
hand, display pussies that look kind of stunted (just a little
bit 'off' somehow) and very ... you know ... average and
therefore just a tad boring. Sorry, girls.
you're one of the women who have undergone female genital
cosmetic surgery to become more average 'down there' and this
pleases you - great. More power to you!
I am just
advocating that you girls who think you want the perfect pussy
'give it another think' that's all. Who knows, maybe you DON'T
want to look totally average. Maybe you like being unique.
However, if you DO decide you want 'the average vagina' I
do believe the most men will not change their basic opinion of
your vagina, because REGARDLESS of how it looks most men WILL
look at your pussy with:
Acceptance, Appreciation and
Plus a single L-word as well.
you've guessed it:Love.
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