Do you want to learn the secrets of understanding women?
Would you like to know how women think?
Understanding girls and
women is challenging, but you can do it ...
And it will benefit you
greatly, but it turns out you don't have to!
Intrigued? Get some great
self improvement advice in love relationship
Tricks for Men on Understanding Girls & Women
This self improvement article is mostly aimed at men, but
women can take a peek as well, of course ... If you are a
woman it might be fun to see if you think I 'get' your sex or
As a young boy you are probably pretty
perplexed when it comes to understanding girls. Then you grow
up into a man who is more than likely even more perplexed
about understanding women.
There are a lot of things
that men are naturally equipped to handle in this world, but
apparently knowing how to understand women is not on that list
You would think after all these years of evolution
and human development there would be a greater sense of how
women think built into every man's mind at birth, but no, no,
understanding girls remains a mystery!
It might almost
seem that nature wants the female to be surrounded by mystery
and intrigue, which means boys have to continue the struggle
of understanding girls and later on in life understanding
women. There are ways to deal with this, though.
understanding women and how women think is a fascinating
subject, and I am going to do my very best communicating it to
you, so this particular personal development article is going
to be pretty long and involved.
If you just want to
skip down to the single most important point and the summary
you can (but you'll miss some very important info). Use this
link to jump:
Using True Love for Understanding Women.
even better, just read on and get some great self improvement
advice in love relationship - and more. You CAN learn how to
Learning How to Understand Women?
Even if you wear your
sexual, reproductive equipment on the outside of your body
there are ways you can learn how to understand women.
Now, if you are brave and particularly interested in personal
development and self improvement, you can do what I,
personally, have done: Get in touch with and integrate your
I heartily recommend doing this. It
provides for a much greater feeling of wholeness and integrity,
as well as giving you a more direct first hand experience of
how women think and feel.
And no, allowing yourself to
experience and integrate your feminine sides does not make you
gay (homosexual). You will be as masculine as ever, and ...
odds are that many women will be even more attracted to you.
At least this has been my experience. I now know much more
about how women thing and have an extremely easy time with
(Maybe, someday, I will write about the
processes that I have been through in this area - but not here
and now, because this is about you and understanding women,
not about me).
On the other hand, you don't need to do
what I have done. The good news is you can learn how to
understand women if you give it just a bit of effort, time and
- - - - - - - - - - - - - Beginning of Sidebars - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - -
Now, before I go on with this self
improvement article on understanding women, I feel the need to
answer three questions that I sometimes get. I will use three quick
sidebars for those.Sidebar 1:
Is Understanding Women
Something I Can Teach You Personally?
Sometimes I get this question from men: Can you teach me what you
have? Can you teach me (1-on-1 or together with my partner) how to
And my answer is: yes I can.
take on private clients for online life coaching via email,
telephone and Skype / Gmail Video Chat, and I have successfully
taught men about understanding women & how women think - and about
how to get in touch with - and accept - their feminine sides.
Fair warning, though: It can be quite a challenging and time
consuming process! (But so, so beneficial). Sidebar
Is Understanding MEN Something I Can Teach Women?
Yes. I have
done so many times, both 1-on-1, 1-on-2 with couples, and 1-on-many
in talks and lectures. Seeing as how I have connected with and
integrated my feminine sides while still remaining very much a man,
I am told that I am quite good at this. Sidebar
Do I Coach and Teach Men, Women & Couples on Sexuality, Too?
Yes, I do.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - End of Sidebars - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I wish I could tell you that women want the same
things that men want, but we all know that is not true. Women do
want the same basic life successes and joys that men strive after,
but how women think of these things and define these things is quite
different from most men. .
Of course, every man wants
different things and it is the same for women. Yet, there are some
basic things that everyone wants like happiness, inner peace,
freedom, wholeness, acceptance, and true love. Understanding women
is not a matter of learning that they want to be happy, at peace,
free, whole, accepted, and loved, but of understanding what they
think these things mean!
Knowing this is essential to
That's where the real difference is
between men and women! Ask a woman what she wants out of life and
you typically get answers like "I want to be happy." Most men leave
it at that when in fact they should be asking exactly what happiness
is to that particular woman.
So, here is your first lesson in
how women think: they think in details.
General ideas like
wanting to be happy may satisfy the male brain, but it isn't enough
for a woman. She wants you to know what happiness would mean for her
so you can fulfill that. Understanding girls requires you to be
interested in the details without dropping the ball once she gives a
very basic answer.
A Woman's Instinct and Intuition
If there is one thing women have fine tuned,
even in the modern world, it is natural instinct, an
An example: If you have ever lived with a
mother with small children in the home, you know what this
instinct is like. There can be crying child down the hall one
day and she completely ignores it while the next day she jumps
from the bed and runs as if the cry that day is life
How does a mother know that the first cry was nothing to worry
about and the second one required immediate attention? Well, she
just does. It is natural. Intuitive. Instinctual.
instinct carries over into relationships and all other aspects of a
woman's life. This is where many men struggle with understanding
women. Women will instinctively and intuitively pick up on small
details and make assumptions and judgments and draw conclusions
without saying a word. A lot of this information is at a gut level
and most women are not even aware of it taking place most of the
Another Example of How Women Think
instinct and intuition is why a man can go on a date and
believe there was a real connection, only to find that the
woman never wants to speak to him again. What went wrong?
In many cases, there was an instinctive sense in the woman
that things weren't going to work, or that there was something
"off" with the man. She may not even be able to explain it
comes from a woman's instinct or intuition, it is difficult to put
into words and explain. This is where the disconnect often comes
between men and women, making understanding women a real challenge
for men. Men simply can't understand what is unspoken but all so
natural inside the female mind.
So, Is Understanding Women Impossible for a Man?
you know how women think ... if they themselves don't even
know how they get the information that feeds their brains and
guides their actions and decisions? Well, like I said, it's a
challenge! :-) But it is doable.
If you want, you can
learn to do the exact same thing they do, and then you will
know. Like I said in the beginning, that takes some doing,
some personal development, as you get in touch with your
inherent femininity and intuition.
If you want to go
down this road you can take courses, of course, but you might
also simply ask a couple of trusted women to start teaching
you. That's what I did. As a matter of fact I spent years
doing that. And got pretty good at it, too.
worked specifically on strengthening my intuition - and
learning to trust it. I now use my intuition extensively - not
just for understanding women, but in everything I do.
However, if you're not really interested in that then probably
the best thing you can do is accept the fact that the female
mind works intuitively much of the time while the male mind
works logically much of the time.
So - just stop
expecting stringent logic and accept the difference. That will
make understanding women - and your life - much easier.
Understanding Women's Unspoken Needs
One obstacle to
understanding girls at a young age is figuring out their 'mind
games' and why they want to play them.
Men tend to be
straight forward most of the time. If they like a girl they are
ready to make a connection and see where it leads. This is the same
for young boys and adult men, but not necessarily so for women.
When they see what they consider an attractive woman, most men
don't over think what may happen in the future, what could go wrong,
or if it's a match made in heaven. They are simply intrigued into
Women function a bit differently. Interest in a man
tends to be driven by a sense of his ability to meet her deep seated
Understanding Women: Women Scrutinize Men - With a Purpose
women want men to pick up on their unspoken needs and send
signals that they can handle them. In the woman's mind it is
more like a test, but to men it comes off as game playing.
Men would prefer to be directly told "I need a strong man
who can sense what I want, protect me, care for me, and take
care of a family." If that were to come out of a woman's mouth
the man could determine if he can meet those needs and either
step up to the plate or back away.
Yet, women don't speak these
deep seated needs out loud. They go the unspoken route of watching
men in a variety of situations to see how they naturally respond.
This is another lesson in understanding women: they put you
under a microscope. They are constantly collecting information about
what you do or don't do and what that says about your ability to
meet their needs.
Understanding Women: There Are No Rules, Only Intuition, Tests &
problem is many men spend way too much time MENTALLY and
INTELLECTUALLY trying to determine what women want, what to
say in different circumstances, and what a woman wants to see
Most of the time that won't work, because IT
IS INFLEXIBLE and NOT ATTUNED to the woman in the changing
circumstances of life!
So forget that. Just
forget it. There ARE NO SET RULES! You CANNOT use your mind to
figure out what goes on in a woman's instincts and her intuition.
You are much better of if you just acknowledge that not all of a
woman's needs are going to be bluntly stated and that there are
going to be tests that you don't even know you are taking. Which is
okay. You don't need to worry about it.
Just be yourself and
act out of sincerity and honesty. If you are the right man for a
particular woman, she will use her intuition and instinct and all of
those unspoken tests to pick up on that. This is an extremely
important lesson in understanding women.
Understanding Women's Hearts
is one last tip on learning how to understand women:
everything in a relationship is connected to the heart, to
love and pure emotion.
As you are well aware, this is
not necessarily the same for men.
This is why most men can
have casual sexual relationships without feeling any true emotions
for their sex partner.
Women struggle with this since they
connect via their emotions and heart to most of their relationships
- particularly their sexual relationships.
When your attempts
at understanding women leave you scratching your head in complete
confusion, it is likely because the woman in your life is not
following common sense or logic which guides your own actions. She
is likely following one of these things that you aren't as in tune
- Knowledge gathered through
- Raw emotion
In some cases a
woman may be reacting from something you did in one odd moment
without even realizing you were being observed. Or, she may be
responding from a gut level instinct that something is off in the
relationship or with you in particular. Finally, there may be
something emotional going on that she hasn't felt comfortable
revealing to you yet.
In other words: understanding women is
complicated because they have different levels of information than
you have. If you can LOVE, however, you are going to be all right.
When it comes to understanding women love is the main key.
The ability to communicate (incl. talk about your feelings) that
so many women say they desire (and they do!) is actually secondary.
When it comes right down to it, your ability to feel and express
true love (perhaps even just wordlessly) is what counts for most
women. (We'll get back to that).
The Benefits of Instinct and Intuition
intuition, instinct and emotion make understanding women
difficult for most men, it also has a benefit to men. Many
women can pick up when a man is struggling with something
internally, is stressed out, or when there are emotional
shifts, or shifts in the relationship.
This is why
women will start to ask questions about how you are feeling or
what you are thinking even when you believe nothing is wrong.
They sometimes pick up on it before you yourself do! There may
very well be something going on that you aren't mentally and
logically aware of just yet. If you will just let her, your
woman will help you become aware of it.
If, on top of being able to
feel and express love, you are able to be open and honest with your
thoughts and feelings, you can actually benefit immensely - while at
the same time making your relationship much stronger.
communicate to the best of your ability - and take advantage of the
female intuition that so many women themselves are benefitting form
in their personal lives.
How Women Think: Emotions & Love = Logic
Finally, understanding women
will be a lot easier if you start giving more credit to emotions,
Many men are uncomfortable with emotion so
they value it far less than intellectual reasoning and logic.
If understanding women is your goal, you will have to learn that
emotion IS logic for many women.
If you can tap into what
emotions they may be experiencing, you will be more successful
figuring out the proper way to respond. This will require you to
push beyond basic logic much of the time and the best way to do that
is ... yes, you've guessed it: to feel love.
Using True Love for Understanding Women
you feel true love (where you love for the sake of loving, as
opposed to needy love, where you love because the other person
fulfills your needs) towards another person you automatically get in
touch with that person. Love is the perfect medium for
communication, even without words.Feel true love,
and you will KNOW what is going on and what to do.
Feeling true love IS understanding women!
How to experience true love? By letting go of any and all needs you
have that are connected to your partner. Accept that even if she
does happen to fulfill some of your needs, she certainly doesn't
have to, and you don't NEEED her to.
If you can do that, if
you can feel (and show) true love, even wordlessly, you've got it
made, pretty much. :-)
SUMMARY of Understanding Women: Figuring It All out
so you have learned that understanding girls is difficult for
very good reasons. Now how do you put it all together and
start figuring out how women think?
Well, by now,
hopefully you are aware that you don't have to!
Women don't think the same way you do, but in fact that doesn't
matter all that much.All you really have to do is be openly,
honestly and lovingly yourself.
But, this has been a long and
involved self improvement article, so just to recap and round it all
up, here's a summary with a few extra, final additions:
Think in Details
This is important because you, as a man,
probably think more in general terms. Those will not satisfy a
woman. She wants it up close and personal! Whereas you may tend to
judge quite a few things in, say, three general levels (good,
neutral, and not good) women have many, many more levels for just
about everything in life ... and they change all the time!
Intuition, Grey Zones and Changing Circumstances
start understanding women more by simply remembering that they may
be operating off of information that is difficult to put into words.
Everything may be black and white in your mind, but her mind has
lots of gray. Situations in life vary all the time, and many women
are in sync with that - which means that they do not follow set
rules but are constantly being flexibly attuned to circumstances.
You Could Choose to Integrate Your Feminine Aspects
This is often a long, challenging but also very giving process with
absolutely no downsides. And the women? They will love you for it!
Women's Unspoken Needs
While women generally tend to
communicate a lot and in much more detail than men, there is one
very important area where they tend to stay quiet and evaluate
instead: Judging the man's ability to satisfy whatever needs they
have. Don't let this worry you too much. Just pay loving attention
to the woman and be yourself. Being Openly and Honestly Yourself - and as Communicative as
Well, this headline speaks for itself. No
further comments necessary.
Detailed Analysis - You Can Do It, Too
Another thing you
can do to start understanding women right now is start to do the
unspoken analysis and observation that you now know women perform.
Pay more attention to the small things she does, the things she says
or doesn't say, and question what it means about her and what needs
it could be pointing towards.
Get Help from Women for Understanding Women
headline speaks pretty much for itself, too.
Don't Try to Learn All the Female Rules
Because when it comes right down to it ... there aren't any! So
drop your mind in this respect and just be honest and sincere.
Benefit from the Female Instinct
Since women tend to notice your problems,
your stress and any shifts that take place inside you, perhaps even
before you yourself do, then you might as well benefit from it by
answering their questions about how you feel, etc. and listening to
what they have to say in those areas. After all, it's totally free,
and the women will love you for it.
Emotions, Particularly Love, Equal Logic
Most women are
much more driven by emotions than most men. Accept it, and remember
that the emotion of love is the ultimate trump. Feel and show love,
and you've pretty much got it made. Feeling true
love IS understanding women!
Love is the perfect
communication's medium and when you feel true love (as opposed to
needy love) you KNOW all you need to know!
Understanding girls and women may be a challenge, but it is not
impossible. You can do it!
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