Self Improvement Advice:
Ask Soren
- Questions and Answers from
the Personal Development Guy!


• Need some self improvement advice?
• Have a question for an expert in personal development?
• Got self improvement questions, empowerment questions ...
• ... spiritual questions, love questions or relationship questions?
• Ask a question, get a blogged answer right here.
• Also: Read what other people have asked + the answer they got.

• Come, join in!
(Direct jump to 'Ask Your Question or read the Q.s & A.s')

• You can also jump to the Sample Questions & Answers

• Or, just read on ...
(Tags: self improvement advice, dear abby advice columns, motivational advice, love questions, relationship questions, empowerment questions, love tips and more self improvement advice).

What You Can Ask (and Read about) on this Page
That's easy:

The questions and answers on this page have to do with ...
... self improvement
... personal development
... spirituality
... empowerment

Within these subjects any question about anything goes.

From love and relationships, to self esteem and letting go, to sex and fun, to awareness and spiritual enlightenment [LINK]. And so much more. For possible subjects, just look at the buttons on the top left side of this website.

The scope is huge. Basically, it is life we're talking about here. So, ask away; there's self improvement advice enough for all.

You can be anonymous if you want. But be honest. Be specific. Be open and personal. Share whatever it is that's bugging you for an answer.

The kind of answer you're likely to get is one based on seeing you and life as a unified whole. Sometimes it'll be very direct and practical, other times it'll be more high-level and general in nature.

Even though I have 'self improvement advice for all', I can't promise that every single query gets an answer, but if you seriously think your question deserves a blogged answer ... then it will most likely get one. Right here, on this website.

So give it a try.

(Direct jump to 'Ask Your Question or read the Q.s & A.s')

Where to Submit What
While this page is dedicated to sharing questions and answers, there are other pages on thePersonalDevelopmentGuy.com which are dedicated to sharing other, related stuff. You can see them all on the page Shared Self Improvement Blogs at the paragraph 'Where to Submit (or Read) What'.

If you want to share something, but you're unsure where to share it - don't worry. Just share it, and let me sort it out! :-)


If you by now you just want to jump directly to where you can ask your question about personal development, spirituality, etc. and get some free self improvement advice, go ahead. Otherwise, please just read on.


Let's Get Started!
To show you what this page is about I'll start out by sharing a few of the countless questions that I have been asked over my many years as a coach, teacher and guide in consciousness. There have been questions about just about everything in life. I got them verbally at the time but have written them down as examples ...



Self Improvement Advice

Question about Good & Evil

(Tags: self improvement advice, dear abby advice columns, motivational advice, love questions, relationship questions, empowerment questions, love tips and more self improvement advice).

I Want to Be Good, but Fear that I'm Evil

Question:

Hi Soren,
I really want to be a good person. I do NOT want to be evil.

But I get so angry sometimes, and when I'm really angry I think terrible thoughts about what I might do to the person I'm angry at. They are really nasty, terrible, bloody things and often I get scared by my own thoughts.

What if I go and do those things in real life? That would be awful and I would go to jail for many years.

I've never heard of other people having thoughts like mine and I seriously fear that I might be an evil person - or at least mentally sick. Please advise.

Yours sincerely,
John Doe (fictitious name)

- - - * - - -

Answer by the Personal Development Guy:

Hi John,
First of all: You may never have heard of other people having thoughts like that, but I have. Lots and lots of people have them.

It's not something people talk about, however, since it's not considered 'nice' to have that kind of thoughts. Consequently, many people who have thoughts like that think they are somehow 'wrong' or 'evil', when in fact they are just 'normal'.

It's natural for you to be worried about whether you might actually go and do those terrible things. But you know what? If you haven't done them so far, odds are that you won't. (If you have done them, you may need to seek professional help).

As far as 'good' and 'evil' are concerned be advised that they are not absolutely real. They are human constructs and relative by nature. What one culture considers 'good' another culture considers 'evil'. This is an anthropological fact. So, if the concepts are not absolutely real, why worry about them? You aren't 'good' and you aren't 'evil' ... you just 'are'!

Kind greetings from
Soren, the Personal Development Guy


Ready to ask your own question or read other people's questions and the answers? Jump directly to the shared self improvement advice at
'Ask Your Question - otherwise, please read on ...


Self Improvement Advice

Question about Spiritual Enlightenment

(Tags: self improvement advice, dear abby advice columns, motivational advice, love questions, relationship questions, empowerment questions, love tips and more self improvement advice).

I Want to Be Spiritually Enlightened

Question:

Hi Soren,
In your long period of what you call wild personal development, you've had these experiences, ones that include 'being one with everything/life'. And when I talk to you there is this aura of calm about you - like you have inner peace.

My first question is: Are you spiritually enlightened?

And my second question is: What do I have to do to become spiritually enlightened?

Yours sincerely,
Jane Doe (fictitious name)

- - - * - - -

Answer by the Personal Development Guy:

Hi Jane,
Am I spiritually enlightened? This is a funny question that I get sometimes. The short answer is: Probably not, in the sense that you are asking the question.

My take on spiritual enlightenment is pretty simple:

At our core we are ALL spiritually enlightened. There's a most powerful light shining in each and every one of us - the light of life.

Only, most of us have placed all sorts of crap in front of our core so that neither we nor other people can experience all of our light of life.

That 'crap' is mostly defence mechanisms and old coping mechanisms, both of which are related to the ego.

So ... if you want spiritual enlightenment, you don't have to DO anything, you have to STOP doing something - i.e. stop defending your chosen (relative) identity.

Or, differently put: If you want spiritual enlightenment, you don't have to GET anything, you have to let go of something - i.e. let go of your defence/coping mechanisms.

Once you do that, you'll experience what I call absolute reality (as opposed to personal, relative reality). Then, most likely, you'll be more or less spiritually enlightened. :-)

Kind greetings from
Soren, the Personal Development Guy


Ready to ask your own question or read other people's questions and the answers? Jump directly to the shared self improvement advice at
'Ask Your Question - otherwise, please read on ...


Self Improvement Advice

Question about Making Love and Spirituality

(Tags: self improvement advice, dear abby advice columns, motivational advice, love questions, relationship questions, empowerment questions, love tips and more self improvement advice).

The Spiritual Side of Making Love: Enlightened Sex

Question:

Hi Soren,
I understand that you use making love (sex) as a means to personal development and self improvement, yeah, and spiritual development. I actually have a few questions about that.

First off: How is it that you can use something as menial as sex to further your personal development?

Secondly: Is what you do (or: use) tantra?

And if it is tantra, what branch of tantra is it?

Yours sincerely,
Andy McNab (fictitious name)

- - - * - - -

Answer by the Personal Development Guy:

Hi Andy,
First off:

I do not consider making love (sex) the least bit menial. Just like the words 'making love' imply, sex can be a way of expressing love with another person (or persons, if you are so inclined). This is how I consider making love and sex.

Personally, I don't care for the kind of sex that you have on, say, one night stands. I was never a one night stand kind of guy.

(I actually tried it once - I figure that it makes sense to try things I find interesting in at least once - and while that one night stand was kind of interesting and fun in its own way, it really had nothing to offer me, so I completely lost interest in one night stands after that).

With someone you love, on the other hand, making love is the greatest thing! It's a way to feel love in the most intense way - and to have all sorts of fascinating experiences together. (Plus, its great fun! The things we can do with our bodies! It makes me smile just to think about it).

Since making love is a way to express love ... which is also what you do in a love relationship ... and in your work ... and in life in general ... I consider our sex life a 'mini edition' of our life in general.

In other words, our sex life very accurately reflects the rest of our life. If your sex life is, say, boring, odds are that the rest of your life is boring as well.

And so, if you learn something in your sex life, odds are that you can use what you have learned in the rest of your life, too (in a general way). For example, you can learn a lot about being open and accepting from your sex life - and what you've learned about it (e.g. how to be open and accepting and what the consequences of it are) you can use directly in the rest of your life, too.

You also inquire about tantra. Tantra is a millennia old love making technique which has a spiritual aim. It's actually a spiritual development technique more than its a love making technique, it merely uses making love a means to personal growth. Tantra exists in several different versions (what you call 'branches').

I do know something about those different kinds of tantra - however that is something I've learned long (many years) after I started using my sex life as a means to personal development.

And no, I do not use any of those 'official' tantra techniques - what I use is one hundred percent intuitive. I have talked to some tantra folks, though, and they assure me that what I've been doing intuitively for years closely resembles tantra. (And from what I've been able to ascertain what it resembles the most is one of the really old Tibetan 'styles').

If you are interested in these things, please visit the page Making Love.

Kind greetings from
Soren, the Personal Development Guy



And now ... it's finally time for you to ask your own question or read other people's questions and the answers. Shared self improvement advice coming up!



Ask the Soren, the Personal Development Guy a Question

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Legalities
I'd love to receive your self improvement questions, spirituality questions, love questions, relationship questions and other relevant questions! :-)

Just please note these things:

• Mind other people's copyright - submit only original material (unless you are specifically quoting, of course). Checking copyright is your responsibility.

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Where Would You Like to Go Next?

• Jump to the top of this page about Self Improvement Advice - Questions & Answers

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• You might also like to read something (more or less) related at the page Happiness, or at the page Letting Go, or at the page Making Love

• Soren, the Personal Development Guy, also has his own blog where he shares his personal experiences, opinions, thoughts and more (like inspirational sayings, motivational phrases, short funny jokes, random funny facts and questions that make you think) at Soren's Blog: Inspirational Thoughts

• To see what has been added to this site recently (plus offers, etc.), check out What's New at thePersonalDevelopmentGuy.com

• Soren, the Personal Development Guy, also runs two other websites:

Smartass-Self-Help.com
- personal development and spirituality for lazy, fun-loving people

... that's the chocolate and the chewing gum of personal development, self improvement, motivation and spirituality. Easy and entertaining.

Quotescoop.com (a.k.a. www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com)
- World's Best and YOUR Best Quotes, Poems & Short Funny Stuff

... that's a quick 'fix' of wisdom and humor. All content is hand picked with an eye for truth - and fun. Also: Share your own wisdom and humor!

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