Learning How to Make Friends

Knowing how to make friends is real gift. With good, honest friends around you, you will never be truly alone, and you will always have someone to share your successes and celebrations with, as well as the times when you need sympathy and commiseration. Making friends is very much a two way street; remember, as the old saying goes, "It takes two to tango."



If you are an extrovert, you will probably never be short of friends, and because of your overt nature, making friends will always come easily to you. But if you are a little more introverted, don't despair; you too can learn how to make friends if you simply following the advice I am about to lay out for you.

Strange though it may at first sound, although extroverts can make friends easily, it doesn't necessarily follow that the friends they make will be good friends. In actual fact, more often than not, an extrovert will tend to have lots of acquaintances rather than friends, and those acquaintances are really just there for the fun company and a few laughs. When an extrovert's mood swings, they very often find themselves alone.

One of the most important things about knowing how to make friends is knowing how to communicate. But when we talk about communicating, we are not talking about knowing how to write a memo, but rather understanding the difference between hearing and listening.

how to make friends advice
I expect at some time or another you will have heard someone droning on about something really boring. What we tend to do in these sort of circumstances is to switch off, merely feigning interest, and making the right sort of noises in the right places. You hear, but you don't actually listen to what is being said.

If you want to learn how to make friends, and this doesn't come easily to you, you must first learn how to really listen. Friends share experiences with each other and in order to do this properly, listening is essential.

Once you understand what is being said to you, you can empathize, and this then allows you to pass comment and offer opinions. The other thing that is really important about learning how to make friends is having a real interest in what the other person is talking about.

One of the common failings of people who are trying hard to strike up a friendship, is that all they really want to do is to talk about themselves. Now whilst this is an important part of any friendship, (we're back to that two way street again), you mustn't overdo it for fear of turning into bore. There's nothing worse than someone who really loves the sound of their own voice too much.

Don't just sit there waiting to hear something that you want to make an opinion about, because all you then do is to keep on interrupting, and hogging the conversation. People love to be listened to, but the happy knack is taking equal parts in a conversation.



But the truly important thing about learning how to make friends is caring about people and knowing how to show them that you care. Let me illustrate by telling you a very personal story about myself.

I split up with my first wife when I was still a young man of twenty four. It hit me quite hard at the time, and I didn't realize just how hard. I had a buddy I used to drink with. He wasn't what I would have called a best friend, just a drinking buddy whereby we used to share a few jokes over a sociable drink after work, and watch the world go by.

The next day after my wife had left me I didn't go into work. The weather was absolutely foul and it suited my grim mood. That evening there was a ring on my door bell, and when I answered the door, there stood John; absolutely soaked to the skin and half frozen to death. He has cycled five miles to my house through the pouring rain that cold winter evening because he was concerned about me.


That simple act, showed me just how much John cared about my predicament, and I will never forget it as long as I live. I did a similar thing for him when his marriage was going through a tough time. His wife phoned me, worried because he had gone out and been missing for some time, and I went in search and found him strolling aimlessly around the streets. We are still the very best of friends today, some thirty years later, in happier circumstances I am pleased to say.

So yes, I know how to make friends. It is through caring for people, and showing them that you care, through thick and thin, glad times and sad times. Let me quote one more well known saying. "A friend in need, is a friend indeed." Being there for people is what really matters, and it is the stuff that the best friendships are made out of.



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