Knowing how to make friends is real gift. With good, honest friends around you,
you will never be truly alone, and you will always have someone to share your
successes and celebrations with, as well as the times when you need sympathy and
commiseration. Making friends is very much a two way street; remember, as the
old saying goes, "It takes two to tango."
If you are an extrovert, you will probably never be short of friends,
and because of your overt nature, making friends will always come
easily to you. But if you are a little more introverted, don't
despair; you too can learn how to make friends if you simply
following the advice I am about to lay out for you.
though it may at first sound, although extroverts can make friends
easily, it doesn't necessarily follow that the friends they make
will be good friends. In actual fact, more often than not, an
extrovert will tend to have lots of acquaintances rather than
friends, and those acquaintances are really just there for the fun
company and a few laughs. When an extrovert's mood swings, they very
often find themselves alone.
One of the most important things
about knowing how to make friends is knowing how to communicate. But
when we talk about communicating, we are not talking about knowing
how to write a memo, but rather understanding the difference between
hearing and listening.
expect at some time or another you will have heard someone droning
on about something really boring. What we tend to do in these sort
of circumstances is to switch off, merely feigning interest, and
making the right sort of noises in the right places. You hear, but
you don't actually listen to what is being said.
If you want to learn how to make friends, and
this doesn't come easily to you, you must first learn how to really
listen. Friends share experiences with each other and in order to do
this properly, listening is essential.
Once you understand
what is being said to you, you can empathize, and this then allows
you to pass comment and offer opinions. The other thing that is
really important about learning how to make friends is having a real
interest in what the other person is talking about.
the common failings of people who are trying hard to strike up a
friendship, is that all they really want to do is to talk about
themselves. Now whilst this is an important part of any friendship,
(we're back to that two way street again), you mustn't overdo it for
fear of turning into bore. There's nothing worse than someone who
really loves the sound of their own voice too much.
just sit there waiting to hear something that you want to make an
opinion about, because all you then do is to keep on interrupting,
and hogging the conversation. People love to be listened to, but the
happy knack is taking equal parts in a conversation.
But the truly important thing
about learning how to make friends is caring about people and
knowing how to show them that you care. Let me illustrate by telling
you a very personal story about myself.
I split up with my
first wife when I was still a young man of twenty four. It hit me
quite hard at the time, and I didn't realize just how hard. I had a
buddy I used to drink with. He wasn't what I would have called a
best friend, just a drinking buddy whereby we used to share a few
jokes over a sociable drink after work, and watch the world go by.
The next day after my wife had left me I didn't go into work.
The weather was absolutely foul and it suited my grim mood. That
evening there was a ring on my door bell, and when I answered the
door, there stood John; absolutely soaked to the skin and half
frozen to death. He has cycled five miles to my house through the
pouring rain that cold winter evening because he was concerned about
That simple act, showed
me just how much John cared about my predicament, and I will never
forget it as long as I live. I did a similar thing for him when his
marriage was going through a tough time. His wife phoned me, worried
because he had gone out and been missing for some time, and I went
in search and found him strolling aimlessly around the streets. We
are still the very best of friends today, some thirty years later,
in happier circumstances I am pleased to say.
So yes, I know
how to make friends. It is through caring for people, and showing
them that you care, through thick and thin, glad times and sad
times. Let me quote one more well known saying. "A friend in need,
is a friend indeed." Being there for people is what really matters,
and it is the stuff that the best friendships are made out of.
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