• Absolute reality revealed!
• The reality of enlightened
spirituality and non duality is yours!
• And with it: happiness, wholeness,
love, freedom & inner peace!
• All you have to do is STOP creating your own
• Read on to uncover reality with the Personal Development Guy
Definition of Reality
The dictionary defines reality as: ’Real existence;
that which underlies appearance; something which is actually experienced’.
this definition equates reality with experience (reality = experience), which is
a pretty simple, practical and useful way of defining what is real. To be real
something has to be experienced.
Also, it follows that if something is
actually experienced it is real! (So if you experience something, it is real -
at least for you).
So, the question that arises is which kind of
experience do you want? Your answer determines which kind of reality you should
choose to experience. Because the type of reality you choose and your experience
are in fact one and the same. Curious? Good! To see your choices, just read on
What Is Reality?
- Absolute Reality vs Personal, Relative
The definition that experience = reality pretty much
works for me. I do need to clarify something, though: We humans can
experience our reality in three ways:
a) Absolute reality
experience of yourself and life as-is (as a unified whole)
Relative (personal) reality
... the experience of yourself and life
... this is a subset of absolute reality
... what a culture, a sub-culture or a group agree
upon as real (that is... this is another subset of absolute reality
While there is only one absolute reality, there are billions of
relative (personal) realities on the planet today, since each human
being (above a certain age) has his or her own. Absolute reality
CONTAINS all these relative/personal realities ... they exist INSIDE
If from this you get the impression that
relative/personal reality is somehow LESS REAL than absolute
reality, you are absolutely right.
What Is Reality?
- Absolute Reality vs Personal, Relative Reality
personal, relative reality and the aggregated consensus reality are
constructs. Machinations. Fictions, if you like. As in: they're not
Personal, relative reality and consensus reality
are real, but only relatively speaking, not in an absolute sense.
What this means is that they are real for some people, and not real
for other people.
And since both relative, personal reality
is characterized by fear, lack and loneliness, the experience of
those realities will be: not so great.
Isn't there an
alternative kind of reality that is the same not matter who you are
and no matter which culture you're from? Perhaps a NICER
alternative? Yes: absolute reality.
Absolute reality is the
only reality that is common to ALL human beings, regardless of
culture, gender, race and age.
Also, the experience of
absolute reality is rather nice.
Reality vs Consensus Reality vs Absolute Reality
To sum up
... There are three basic kinds of reality:
• Personal, relative
reality - which is your individual world view
reality - which is an aggregation of common world views in your
• Absolute reality - which is the reality that contains
ALL kinds of realityPersonal, relative reality
can be fun
because this is where you can create your very own reality. However,
it usually isn't fun because most of the time is done unconsciously
- based on fear, lack and separation, which makes it terribly
unpleasant - depressing and lonely. Personal, relative reality is
where most people in this day and age live, though, which is kind of
is what the majority in your
particular culture (or: subculture) agree upon as real. It is
created in a kind of unconscious large scale negotiation. Since most
people live in their own, separate, lonely, relative, personal
reality, the typical consensus reality is the same way, oftentimes
even more so, because consensus reality is based on the lowest
common denominator (fear, separation and lack). Which is also kind
is the one you will be interested in
if you are into personal development, self improvement and spiritual
growth. Why? Because it is in absolute reality that you find a
lasting sense of freedom, wholeness, happiness, wonder, love and
inner peace. Other words used to describe absolute reality include:
Silence, spaciousness, presence, I AM, being here now, oneness,
connecting with Source or God, the transpersonal realm,
transcendence, and Home (with a capital H). The experience of
absolute reality is what the yogis and the various spiritual
teachers are talking about when they speak of 'spiritual
enlightenment'. It's what enlightened spirituality is all about.
By now it should be pretty obvious that absolute reality is the
reality to go for.
Interested? Then please read on.
You Have Already Experienced Absolute Reality
is nothing strange, exotic or unattainable about absolute reality.
Odds are that you have already experienced it - probably even many
times. You just were not aware that that's what it was.
think back, now.
Find an absolutely incredible moment in your
life. One that took your breath away and left you speechless. A
moment when all you did was to BE THERE, completely present,
completely experiencing whatever it was. Perhaps you were skiing or
skating or mountain climbing or doing some other sport or craft,
maybe, when you were totally 'in the zone'; or in nature; or in
meditation or on an inner journey; or experiencing an exquisite work
of art; or in the embrace of a loved one (it could even be an
In that very moment there what were your thoughts?
There weren't any. Well, what were your beliefs, then? There weren't
any beliefs, either. Because as soon as you start thinking or
believing again, the moment passes.
Okay, in that particular,
breathless moment what were your negative, unpleasant feelings? No,
there weren't any of those, either. Feelings were present, though,
it was just that they were all pleasant ones: Silence, presence,
spaciousness, joy, awe, wonder, love, happiness, freedom, inner
peace, and so on.
I am sure you have experienced a moment
like that. In fact, I am sure you have experienced many moments just
In those particular moments you were experiencing
How to Move from Relative Reality
to Absolute Reality
If you have decided that you want to try
absolute reality out yourself, congratulations! Your have made an
excellent choice. One that has the potential to change your life for
There are many routes, theories, traditions and
methods, which will take you to absolute reality.
philosophies and some Western ones, too, attempt to help you with
it. Yoga, meditation and tantric sex are more or less designed for
Some modern techniques for healing and
psychotherapy may (more or less accidentally) have the same effect.
There are also a few organized religions (like some versions of
Buddhism, Daoism and Hinduism) which focus on it, and many of the
mystical traditions of other organized religions do the same (e.g.
Christian and Islamic mysticism).
The common denominator for
all of the above is, however, that they usually do not lead to quick
results. They may work, but it takes a long time (years or even
decades) plus a lot of dedication and discipline.
a much simpler and more direct avenue. It goes like this ...
The Personal Development Guy's Recommended 5 Steps Home
to Absolute Reality
1) Get a 'map' (an understanding) of
the 'territory' you are about to enter.
Learn what reality is
(by studying this page and at the very least also
What Is Reality
get very clear on
your identity, who you really are
, what life is
and what the connections are.
To do that you might want to
other pages on this website (particularly
my empowerment theory
and my ebooks, too (perhaps in this case particularly
How to Be
Yourself and Find Authentic Happiness).
2) Check your
wallet and, more importantly, your will.
Do you REALLY want
this, and are you willing to do / pay what ever it takes? Not just
in terms of money, because it really doesn't have to cost you
anything, financially, but in terms of change. Most people resent
change. You, too? Well, if you are currently living in the world of
(relative reality and consensus reality), you'll need to
change. It'll cost you the (fear, lack and loneliness based) status
quo - most notably some of your convictions / beliefs. (But it's
good riddance, I promise you!)
3) Choose a 'vehicle' (for
personal development and change) and learn how to 'drive' it (use
The 'vehicle' might be something like The Journey by
Brandon Bays (a mostly emotional process); multi-incarnational
sessions by Chris Griscom; The Work by Byron Katie (a mostly mental
process); author and teacher Bruce Moens teachings; Holothropic
Breathwork by Stanislav Grof (general and non-directed / non-focused
in nature); or my own
the Let Go Method.
Your 'vehicle' could also
be yoga, meditation, tantric sex or any other method you prefer.
4) Examine and consciously suspend or let go of your most
limiting 'filters' - i.e. your beliefs regarding absolute reality,
the soul, the ego, love, happiness, consciousness and life itself.
Often, this is a necessary step, because an awful lot of people
have an awful lot of internal 'filters' or 'blinders' regarding
those vital elements of life. If you don't know those 'blinders' are
there, they may very well stop you from experiencing what you need
If, on the other hand, you do know what they
are, you can choose to temporarily suspend them while you work with
your 'vehicle' of choice - or even choose to let them go completely.
In general my recommendation would be to let go of as many of your
'filters' (limiting beliefs) as you can. Or at least change them to
make them as non-limiting as you can.
5) Go Home to
absolute reality again and again.
No matter which 'vehicle'
you are using, use it again and again with the explicit purpose of
going Home to absolute reality. At first it does not matter if you
go Home for only a brief moment like a second or two. Later, you can
work on expanding your experience.
If your chosen method is
one of letting go, then you can let each of your experiences of
unpleasantness (pain, fear, etc.) guide you as 'road signs' Home AND
use them as fuel for your journey Home to absolute reality. If this
is your choice I would recommend buying and reading my ebook
Inner Peace by Letting Go.
And remember: Practice makes the
master, so if you truly want to make your permanent experiential
home in absolute reality, you will probably need to make the trip
many times. The good news is that once you have made a permanent
move in a specific area of your life (love, relationships, work,
money, etc.) you do not need to do it again ... and there are only
so many areas of life, so at some point you will probably be living
in absolute reality most of the time. This is true for myself, and
for some of my clients, too.
More Suggestions on How
to Proceed on the Way Home to Absolute Reality
ask me for exact instructions on how to experience absolute reality,
and I really want to help, but the fact is that we are all
different, so what works for some folks may not work for others. You
will probably need to try out different things for yourself. Having
a playful, open and inquisitive attitude helps a lot.
end what has already become a long self improvement article I would
like to expand and add to the above 5 points. In general, I would
recommend that you try out things like these (and perhaps finding a
combination of some of them that works for you):
- focus on
wholeness (non duality - seeing yourself and life as a unified
whole) and on understanding who you are (e.g. learning these things
as they are presented on this website) - this is point 1) above,
'Get a map'. The important point here is that you can choose to
focus your efforts primarily on things that teach you to see
everything as a unified whole (which it is).
whether your ego has a focus on a) the physical body/instincts, or
b) emotions/feelings, or c) intellect/mental capacity, and adjusting
your personal development accordingly (undoubtedly you already know
the answer to this - if not, the Enneagram may help you, see below).
- learning to understand and use
which of the nine basic types of ego you are blessed with ... and
how to deal with that. Used right the Enneagram is a method focused
on getting you to move BEYOND your ego. The Enneagram teaches you to
put your ego in a box (categorize it) order to help you get OUT of
that box. Used like that the Enneagram becomes a tool for personal
and spiritual development.
- reading the book: 'The Future of
' by Stanislav Grof as a way to add a pinch of
transpersonal psychology. You might also choose to read the later
books by Abraham Maslow - and perhaps Carl Rogers, Carl Jung,
Charles Tart, Ken Wilber and Roberto Assagioli as well. In most
respects, though, the above mentioned book by Stanislav Grof will
tell you what you need to know.
- doing energetic, physical
training (like tai chi, yoga or chi gong).
- minding your
body and physical health (e.g. by eating sensibly and indulging
yourself by staying in reasonable shape and going to some sort of
healing and/or wellness, like perhaps massage, healing, chranio
sacral therapy or whatever you prefer). What you eat has a
surprisingly powerful effect on many areas of your life.
minding your mental and spiritual health (e.g. by doing personal
development and keeping a
personal development journal
seeing/talking/writing with a teacher or a coach or a guide in
consciousness. If you are interested I occasionally take on this
role (of coach/guide) for an international audience myself. If you
sign up for my newsletter (opt in box below the navigation buttons
on the top left + at the bottom of this page) you will see when +
get a rebate).
- learning to still your mind at will so you
do not have to listen to it incessantly chatting away like a
paranoid parrot (meditation is supposed to help you do this, but
that never worked for me. Instead I have had some training with
brainwave entrainment (neurofeedback), which is learning to control
your brainwaves by will, using some very sensitive equipment and a
computer. That worked for me ... I can now enter a meditative state
where my brain is running on alpha waves in a matter of seconds. And
the time it took to learn this could be measured in weeks rather
than years, so it was much faster to learn than learning traditional
- learning one or more techniques for letting go
(e.g. my own
the Let Go Method
, most notably described in my ebook
Finding Inner Peace by Letting Go
- doing inner journeys (as
mentioned in point 3) above). You never know where this is going to
take you, but you can be pretty darn sure that it is going to be
interesting - and most likely educational and healing, too.
learning to understand and take responsibility for fulfilling your
- choosing to take responsibility for your entire
Absolute Reality and YOU: Final
This self improvement article has ended up being longer
than most here on personaldevelopmentguy.com. That's because
absolute reality is an extremely important subject for all who are
interested in enlightened spirituality, personal development and
If that's you I recommend that you study this page
in depth, pick out whatever you feel ready for and start acting on
If it seems overwhelming please just remember that baby
steps will get you where you want to go, too. :-)
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Absolute Reality Revealed (Non Duality): Just STOP Creating Your Own Reality
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